the art of being me

Posting can be a challenge, but meeting challenges at every turn

2011-04-14T18:35:00.001-05:00

Trying an app to connect with my blog as it doesn't look like a computer is heading my way anytime soon.

I was reading some writings from Sir Frances Drake last evening and stumbled across a prayer he had written. It seemed to be speaking directly to my heart.

Prayer of Francis Drake, 1577

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity,
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord,
to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

When I read this last night, it gave me comfort about all the disturbances which have taken place in my life. I can see they have been calls to grow, to abandon my comfort zone. I would not have had the growth of my spirit had it not been forced upon me!

So, I am thankful and am looking forward to future disturbances!

Gratefully, jené

P.S. Hope this works!

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It's only a thing

2010-08-24T20:58:00.002-05:00

Sorry to have been away again for a bit. The latest thing to go wrong in my life is the computer. It has been having reliability issues for several months and is now on it's last legs. The long lived, and overworked dear is going on strike and I can only get it to turn on sporadically. I will be learning how to post via text message.

I was sharing my computer woes with a friend when she remarked "Things keep falling apart around you." I chuckled and told her it made sense, after all I seem to be falling apart lately. I was thinking of the last time I had a computer to die. I remember how much I missed it and had to work on my attitude to accept the disappointment. I can't believe I was so disturbed by the loss of a thing! I am so grateful God has worked in my life to help me see what is important. I know He is the reason I have learned to remember to keep my focus on the blessings of my life. I am not be able to do so on my own. Otherwise, I would not have moments of forgetfulness when He reminds me to seek joy. A heart that is bitter sees no gift. I pray my heart will always recall how much I have been gifted.

Thankful for lessons learned and joy revealed,

jené

...and a little child will lead them

2010-08-11T20:49:00.002-05:00

Saturday night found me with my three favorite little girls. We gathered in the kitchen to cook dinner together and caught up on our time apart. After we had finished eating, the twins were playing with their Pokeman cards (Who knew they were still around?). The oldest was helping me fold my laundry while telling me all about camp. The evening escalated when a trade went bad and one sister demanded her cards back.

After a mediation that would have made Kissinger proud, we had a long talk about having a generous spirit. We took a moment to review the day to see how often someone had shown generosity to them. All of the girls then began to offer ideas on how they could be generous to others. They were grandiose and difficult to implement. I listened until they came up empty and then suggested perhaps they could start with being generous in their own home. I haven't heard yet how that plan has worked out, but am looking forward to the stories I am sure I will hear when we are together again.

Heading to bed a little later than I would have liked, the girls settled down for me to come and share nighttime prayers with each. As would be expected each asked for God's help in their task. Over the years, I have learned any surprises in prayer are most likely going to come from Julia. This night was no exception. She gets so excited talking to God, she stumbles over her words trying to get them out as fast as she can. She took a moment's pause and then thanked God for "knowing what was in my heart even when I say something else." After hugs and kisses I told her I was glad she knew that God knew what was in her heart. She said "Even if you pray for something you think you might want, God knows what you really want and what you need."

I am always so blessed by my time with these girls, the love and joy we share never fails to be a balm for my soul. I am doubly blessed to be able to have moments where I can see God's Kingdom as a little child does. Being a part of their faith journey enriches my own, and I am thankful.

Looking forward all these sweet girls will continue to teach me,

jené

Someone shares my thoughts

2010-08-06T23:11:00.003-05:00

When I read Ann Rice's statement about giving up on Christianity, my first thought was she was going to make her journey with Jesus a personal one and remove herself from the corporate body. It wasn't until I began reading various responses to her statement that I began to feel no one else took her statement the way I did.

Then one of my favorite blogs tackled the issue. As I read his thoughts on her decision, I no longer felt alone. He said what I felt but much better than I could have said it.

Check it out for yourself, it's well worth the read, but then it always is.

"Provocative Christian Living"

Praying Anne finds her answer in her commitment to Christ,

jené

From Great Aunt Jené

2010-08-05T19:53:00.003-05:00

Dear Jackson,

I have yet to hold you in my arms but you are already being held in my heart. I began praying for you at the moment I knew you were on the way. The announcement of your coming was a wonderful highlight from your Great Grandparent's Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary. You were the hit of the party!

I will not be able to see you as often as I like, for that would be every day. But I will be keeping you in my prayers. I pray for all my nieces and nephews daily. I have not been gifted with children and each of you are a gift I cherish all the more.

My goal is to be the aunt everyone feels comfortable coming to with joys and sorrows. The aunt you know will always be in your corner. The one you can count on when life blows up in you face and don't know which way to turn. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you can do to lose my love for you. You are stuck with me for the rest of my life!

So as you grow up, when you need a friend, a confidant, a co-conspirator, or just someone to be silly with, remember your aunt jené. I will be delighted to be the one you turn to.

I love you Jackson William Taylor, and I always will!

Love,

aunt jené

Whirlwind

2010-07-31T22:02:00.003-05:00

Camp Nené was a resounding success! The sweet little girls came over the day before I had to go out of town and we had a blast. We spent an hour wandering around the local Asian market. They loved seeing everything and no corner of the store was overlooked. We played games, watched movies, did gymnastics and stayed up late. The next day got started with Julia's favorite; popovers! They were able to stay until after lunch where Meredith discovered pierogies. They are now her favorite!

The day after found me up early to get to the airport for a flight. I was so excited I never noticed someone stealing my cane in the airport. An older couple sat next to me and when they got up to leave she grabbed my cane thinking it was hers. After they had walked for a bit her husband asked her where she had gotten the cane as she had left hers at home. They were kind enough to turn it in to lost and found. Meanwhile, the Southwest Airlines gate agent made a valiant effort to locate it for me. When she found it was at lost and found, she told me how to get there. She'd said she'd make sure I did not miss my flight as it was loading at that point. I was the last on the plane but thankfully I made it!

The days in St. Louis were a happy blur of moments surrounding a wonderful wedding. I made use of city's rail system to make it out to the local Container Store. Their general manager is a kind friend who used to work here. It was such a treat to be able to give him a hug and hear all about his family.

That night at the rehearsal dinner I met many in the bride's family. I sat with my aunts and the bride's aunt and family and the laughter never stopped. It was so reassuring to discover Shonna's family was just as silly and fun as my own. No wonder she felt right at home with us!

Proving that something always goes wrong at weddings, the poor best man was not as lucky with his air travel as I was. He landed a day late and just half an hour before the wedding. Thanks to the groom's cousin doing some exemplary fast driving he made it to the church and the wedding started just a few minutes late.

The wedding was fabulous and the reception gave lots of fun moments. My favorite would have to be my nephew dancing with his mom to "Sesame Street!" Even some difficulties after it was all over could not diminish the joy of the day.

Sunday I awoke with severe sinus and ear troubles. I was not looking forward to getting on an airplane while that congested but had no regrets about making the trip for the wedding. A rough flight home and having everything worsen the next day still had me thanking God I was able to be there. For me, it was worth any discomfort to spend time with loved ones.

Yesterday saw the arrival of my newest nephew. As I am here and he is in Dallas, I am happy photos can be sent via mobile phones. It makes me feel as if I haven't missed out on the event. Of course, the best time will be when I get to hold him myself, hopefully soon!

As things are winding down at the end of this long day, I am grateful that tomorrow is a day of rest. I am looking forward to more time with family as my sister will be here. This visit will not have the urgency that surrounds a wedding, so the time spent will be much calmer.

Had already gone to bed tonight but couldn't seem to settle down so I thought I would catch up for the time I was gone. After returning to more regular blogging, I felt bad for missing so many days in a row. The laptop didn't make the trip and I was too sick to address the lack upon my return.

Will try for sleep again,

jené

Camp time tales

2010-07-18T13:29:00.003-05:00

My three favorite little girls have been at camp this past week. The reviews I have gotten so far are mixed.

For the oldest, this is her third year to go. She gets herself well packed and is excited in the days leading up to her departure. Her camp maintains a website so you can see pictures of the kids each day. She sent me a letter the other day full of news about how much fun she was having.

For the twins, this is their first year to go, and their reactions are as different as night and day. I spoke with them yesterday after they returned. Meredith almost couldn't contain her excitement. She listed all the things she did and offered details without any prompting. Getting any feedback from Julia was arduous. It is obvious she did not enjoy camp as much as her sister.

Both of the little girls will be coming to spend the night this week. The first year their older sister was gone to camp, they spent the night with me and we laughingly called it Camp Nené. This year's version will have to work hard to match the original. The first time Camp Nené was in session my niece Christina was here. The little girls loved having a teenager to play with.

When I told Julia we would be having camp at my house again she got excited. The thing that touched my heart was when she said "Just being with you will be fun!" As someone who has always longed to have children, those words just made my day! I am so blessed to have friends nearby who share their children with me and consider me part of their family. I have wonderful nieces and nephews, but none of them are here.

Looking forward to Tuesday night when Camp Nené will be in session!

~ jené

Through the looking glass

2010-07-15T13:53:00.003-05:00

Between dreams of late and oddities happening all around me I have the feeling I somehow stepped into a Lewis Carrol book and can't get out. I decided to just go with the flow and have laughed myself silly on numerous occasions this week. Perhaps if I were to spend some time with someone to analyze my dreams I would find all sorts of hidden meaning. I decided to accept it all as a gift from God to help me keep a cheerful attitude during some challenging times.

I am reminded to look for the positive, that even difficulties can provide blessing, and life is mostly what you make of what comes your way. All thoughts worthy of their own bumper stickers, but encouraging nonetheless.

I am thinking of my grandfather a lot this week. For the entirety of his life he always made sure to find joy around him. A dignified man who knew being silly would not dent his dignity. After all, until the day he died, I called him "Grumpdaddy." Poor enunciation as a child branded him with a goofy nickname used by me and my sisters. Yet, that moniker was never uttered by me without respect and admiration.

Some of my best childhood memories involve this sweet man. He was a man who loved everyone around him. One phrase each of his grandchildren can recall hearing from him was "Oh, how I love my neighbor!" He did more than just talk about it, he lived it. Never did he pass someone in need without doing something about it. It was a delight to go into town with him for an errand. We'd stop for a soda or a piece of pie. It was sitting at the soda fountain where folks would come up to him and thank him for something he had done for him. It seemed I never went anywhere with him without hearing about his kindness. He would always caution me not to tell anyone about our stops when we got back home. When I was young I used to think he didn't want anyone to know we had splurged on pie. As I grew older I believe he didn't want me to talk about the things he had done. I had a feeling most of the times he assisted someone, he did so in secret.

Perhaps the thing that I loved about him most as a child was his ability to play. I believed that grown men were serious and didn't have the desire or time to play silly games. (I exempted women as my mum frequently indulged in playing make-believe with me) He would encourage my flights of fantasy as we played in the old tree-house. One summer afternoon found me making patterns in the dusty soil with a stick. He asked if he could join me and we made a huge drawing on the earth. When we lived in England he came to visit. As we traveled all over Europe you could see his delight every where we went. It remains to this day, a highlight of my time there.

There are many ways he influenced my life but I believe the two most important were to love everyone around you and to take fun wherever you find it, even if you have to make it yourself.

Glad he was my Grumpdaddy,

jené

Children's books

2010-07-12T20:37:00.002-05:00

In anticipation of a new Winnie the Pooh movie next year I have been re-reading A. A. Milne's classic tales from the Hundred Acre Woods. Someone jokingly asked me if I was returning to my childhood since I was immersing myself in a children's book. I have read many children's series as an adult and have found them to be entertaining and have a wealth of life lessons in them.

When people used to tell Milne how they loved his books he often told them he doubted they had yet read "the best one." When he was then asked to define it he said "For whom, then is the book intended? That is the trouble. Unless I can say, "For those, young or old, who like the things which I like," I find it difficult to answer. Is it a children's book? Well, what do we mean by that? Is The Wind in the Willows a children's book? Is Alice in Wonderland? Is Treasure Island? These are masterpieces which we read with pleasure as children, but with how much more pleasure when we are grown-up."

Like Mr. Milne, I believe I will continue to read books I enjoy with no thought to the audience they were originally written for. A good book, is a good book!

Reading again,

jené

P.S. In case you have never read the book Milne referred to, you can find an on-line copy of

Once On A Time below.

Reassessing

2010-07-09T18:57:00.002-05:00

It's something I do daily. Can I stand without falling this morning? Have I enough grip to hold a spoon for cereal or is it a toast kind of day? At my current rate of movement, how long will it take me to get dressed for work? The morning assessment drives my plan for the day. Occasionally I'll stop for a moment and ponder how odd it is that I now make time to consider things I used to take for granted.

This morning as I was spending some quiet time in preparation for the day I read a quote from Saint Francis de Sales that got me thinking. He said "Be who you are and be that well." Considering that as I got dressed for work I concluded I was going to be a person who moved slowly today but was going to help everyone I could. At the heart of me, nothing has really changed in my motives and desires. I have just had to changed how I work them out on a day to day basis.

I believe the need to daily reassess has turned into a gift. No longer can I just jump into the day with little or no thought or preparation. I know that having to think more about how to achieve what I want has helped me to "Be who you are and be that well." Regardless of how I may feel at any given moment about the situation that has brought me here, I need to remember it has blessed me with the opportunity to be the best me!

Musings from a challenged day,

jené

Overload

2010-07-07T18:26:00.003-05:00

When I last checked in it was the beginning of a wild ride for my family. It seemed challenge after challenge came our way. Since many of them were not my own I did not feel I could share the struggles without violating the privacy of those I love. At one point I held one of my sweet nieces in my arms as she cried and asked "Why are all these bad things happening to our family?"

I had thought to get back to blogging when things settled down. As it turned out, once one thing settled down, another would pop up. Kind of like those "Whack-a-mole" games on a continuous repeat.

For me the hardest part has been watching my sisters face these difficult times. I am almost used to my life falling apart and feel confident I can cope as it does. After all God has been with me so far and I know He's not going anywhere. The heartbreak was knowing my loved ones were in pain. Nothing else can make me feel so helpless. No matter how much I supported them, prayed for them and loved them, it never seemed enough. In reality, I know it was the whole family coming together that got each of us through all the difficulties.

Now things have returned to the land of just your regular run of the mill catastrophes. Convection oven died, car battery died a week later, car got hit two weeks after that, and I have gotten a disease which will recur randomly for which there is little effective treatment. This I know, and this I can deal with.

I know from long experience the best ways to make it through are the following:

prayer, lots and lots, both mine and those praying for me
meditation to quiet my soul so I can listen for God's voice
encouragement and support from family and friends
a wonderful doctor who is committed to keeping me as healthy as possible
the blessing of coming from a long line of determined people

Glad to be back in the blogsphere, didn't feel completely cut off as I kept in touch with many through facebook and twitter, but it's nice to be home.

~ jené

How whining worked for me

2009-10-25T23:30:00.001-05:00

I have been feeling useless of late. In the past I have used my days off to help out in places around Houston where my heart is engaged. This last month, I have not had a day off where I was able to do anything but get dressed. Most days I haven't even achieved that. Two weeks ago I was praying about my lack of ability to serve as I had been used to. Well, to be truthful, it was more of a whining complaining about it than anything else. Fortunately God is able to hear my heart which was hiding in the whining. He took my whiny spirit and found me an outlet to help me feel useful again.

I got an email from a friend looking for help one evening right after my shift at work. Knowing I would already be tired, I figured it wouldn't hurt to be a little more so. I went to help and was so blessed by the feeling I could make even some small difference in the life of women who feel abandoned. The next day brought a text message from someone else needing help setting up for a charity event that Friday night. I went straight from work to the ballroom. Again just about an hour of work on my part and I was able to support a cause laid on my heart. More and more opportunities of this nature have continued to present themselves. An hour here, a half hour there. A chance to take a few minutes to make a presentation for a cause to those who can help.

I had in no way dreamed this was how God would answer my whiny pleas. At the back of my mind I kept envisioning finding renewed energy on my days off to be able to resume my previous schedule. I just knew God would give me the strength to do what I wanted. Instead He gave me the gift of serving in new and different ways. He let me know that however my life works out, I can share His love with those around me. I am finding myself doubly blessed. By taking shorter tasks, I am able to have more diversity in where I invest myself. And the days spent in my jammies have not gone wasted. Those days I spend in quiet moments with Him, letting Him fill me with His peace and love. Even if things don't work out the way I intended, I have learned what every two year old on the planet has always known, whining works!

Thankful for a God with good parenting skills,

jené

Thy will be done

2009-10-03T22:08:00.002-05:00

I heard this phrase today in what may well be it's most genuine utterance ever. They were spoken by a man whose heart is firmly in God's hands. They were used to convey his willingness for God to work His will on the one this man cherishes the most.

Let me explain.

A couple of days ago my dear brother-in-love suffered a major medical incident. One which has left him in the hospital with resolution yet to come. He is taking all this with amazingly good spirits.

His father has had a medical battle of his own for the past few years. Extended treatment including all manner of chemotherapy and radiation have been part of his life. After hearing the news of his son, and thinking the matter over, he decided he needed to come see him in person. He lives a few hours to the north. A trip of that nature is hard for any older person, let alone one with compromised health. Still, I can understand his desire to lay eyes on his son. Any parent wants to be close to their child at a time like that. Neither the age of the parent or the child negates that.

He made it to the hospital this morning and stayed to visit for several hours. When it was time for him to leave he asked all of us present to join him in a prayer. He led us through the Lord's prayer and then added his own prayers. He thanked the Lord for all that had been done for his son, for all those who had come to be with him and help his family. He thanked God for the way God had taken care of his son and then spoke the words which went straight to my heart. "I know my will for my son, but I ask for Your will for him." That a father who was at his son's bedside in the hospital could voice those words, and mean them, humbled me.

I, who often struggle and chaff at submitting, was overwhelmed. The sincerity of this man giving back to God the most precious thing he has been gifted for God's glory made my reluctance seem petty and small. I admit that there have been times in the last few years when I have wondered just what I am to learn from what my life has become. I am grateful for what I have been taught. I know beyond a doubt of God's love for me. I know that prayer is a an intimate encounter between loved ones. I know that God has plans for me even when I cannot fathom them. What I was made to see today was how a pure heart seeks not for itself, but for what God desires. I want to be willing to offer myself for whatever God desires, with no thought of it's impact upon me. Whatever He wishes for whatever He wants.

I am thankful for the chance to know such a man after God's own heart.

Working on being willing,

jené

Truth Survey

2009-09-21T20:45:00.002-05:00

My friend Lee has once again brought me into a facebook experiment. This one involves a survey requiring truthful answers. So here we go!

1.What was the last thing you ate?
Salad and Pizza

2.Where was your profile picture taken?
Scotland

3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
Never tried, have had to give up my real guitar. My niece Laura has it now and is much better with it than I ever was.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
Stacy

5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
It's not staying up if you can't sleep, so 5:00 am and I am not saying because it sounds like complaining!

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
If you mean the English countryside, you bet

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yes

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
The sweetest little girls in town!

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Certainly

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
Diet Dr. Pepper when I do have it.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Last Friday

12. Who took your profile picture?
My friend Vickie

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Everyone at The Container Store fiesta last night.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
no

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Often

16. Are you upset about anything?
Frustrated but not upset.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Totally! Is there anything else?

18. Are you a bad influence?
well.......not necessarily bad.

19. Night out or night in?
depends on who I am spending the night with.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Music and meds

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My neighbor Paul.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Good." from my mom

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
Blessed in so many different ways

24. Do you hate anyone?
No, pointless and not worth my time.

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?
family, friends and a monk who has become a great pen pal!

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes. Although after the last week, a little narcotic help would be welcome! ;-)

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
No, my friends are honest and my family can keep silent.

28. What song is stuck in your head?
"Heart and Soul". You spend an evening with three young girls learning to play the piano and see what gets stuck in your head.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 5O?
Hmmm. 48 now with no children, don't see it happening unless someone fixes me up with their Grandpa.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Getting up and making it into work sounds good.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
Letting go of thinking to much, leaving that to my Heavenly Father. He's much better at it than I am.

33. Do you smile a lot?
yes, if it starts on my face it will make it to my soul.

So this will make it's way over to facebook where I will tag Lee back and you can feel free to participate or not.

Glad to have friends who include me,

jené

Recurring thoughts

2009-09-13T22:00:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we sang one of my favorite hymns during the service, "Lead On, O King Eternal." Now even weeks later the lyrics are still running through my mind.

For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy
The heavenly kingdom comes.

This line from the second verse keeps finding it's way into my daily life. God continues to place in my path many opportunities to put it into practice. From helping a new mom find her feet, to guiding a friend with downsizing and offering assistance in a new business venture. I can feel I am doing my part in furthering my Lord's work for I believe every deed of love and mercy does so.

In totally different circumstances I may have found another use for these encouraging words. A brief foray into the political realm last week gives me cause to think the phrase might be useful as a mantra for the coming election season. Gubernatorial races are fierce in Texas. Frankly it has been so many years since my choice has been elected that I cannot find myself too worked up. When the talk turns mean spirited around me I think I will take a moment to remember the words Ernest W. Shurtleff wrote so many years ago. I will ignore the the loud clashing and focus on love and mercy.

Finding a home in love and mercy,

jené

P.S. In talking about this hymn with a friend, I learned that until he could read he sang this song as "Lead On O Kinky Turtle." I will be hard pressed not to laugh the next time it pops up in a service!

Tough times

2009-09-06T20:08:00.006-05:00

There have been many times in my life when things have been difficult to the point of overwhelming. If you were just looking at the facts of my life right now, you would think this another such period. Objectively, I can see all the things which would make this be the worst time of my life. But subjectively, it doesn't feel that way.

I have been this poor before. I have had times of increasing pain and limitations before. I have had periods where everything fell apart around me before. Yet this time, when all three are in place, I don't feel the despair I have felt in the past. This morning in a moment of enforced stillness I asked myself ; Why?

What is different now that I haven't had before. In looking back at the different times in my life when the "going got tough" I realized I often adhered to the motto that the "tough get going." That's just not possible now. Not having the ability to bail myself out of difficulty has forced me to rely upon God's grace completely.

There is nothing I have done to make this one of the best times of my life. Pain is still present. My movements are limited. I have to look for discounted items at the grocery store. I don't turn the key in the ignition except for necessary trips. And in the midst of all of the myriad of emotions each day brings there is no despair. For me, that is the best news ever. Now I find myself thanking my heavenly Father for the love and comfort He is gifting me. I am glad He is kind enough to listen when I yell at Him. I am grateful He helps me to redirect my focus to what I can do instead of what I can't do. I hope to someday be thankful for all the tough times, for now I am thankful for what they have brought to me.

Glad to have finally learned that grace makes a great comfort zone!

jené

this beats the Brady Bunch hands down!

2009-08-27T12:02:00.004-05:00

Ran across this on St. Aiden to Abbey Manor and was amazed at the planning that must have gone in to make this possible.

A week of prayer

2009-08-17T21:37:00.002-05:00

My favorite little girls are back from their vacations and I spent some time this evening catching up with them. As I listened to them sharing all the fun they had in California, my mind wandered for a moment to my prayer time this morning.

I am just one of thousands who are spending the week praying for the children who live in Houston. This mornings note had some disturbing statistics in it. "Did you know that 24% of Harris County children live in poverty and a total of 47% live in low income families? Texas is ranked 46th in percentage of children living in poverty, with only Alabama, Louisiana, New Mexico and Mississippi doing worse. Related to poverty, Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured children in the nation at 24.6%." from the Week of Prayer for Children Prayer Guide. I knew things were difficult here, but had no idea it was so dismal. I had to take quite a bit of time this morning settling my heart before I could even begin to pray. It is hard to imagine the city with the richest Zip Code in America has so many children in financial distress.

If you are also disturbed by this news I am asking you to join me in prayer for the children of our city. You can join with me and use the guide for the week found here: A Week of Prayer for Children. Please think about adding your voice to the voices already lifting in prayer. Then find some place where you feel led to serve the children of Houston. They need all the good hearts they can get to aid in their plight!

Thanks and keep praying,

jené

15 books

2009-08-06T21:48:00.003-05:00

A request issued by my friend Lee is the source for this list.

"O.K...... think about 15 books that influenced you--whenever!
It doesn't have to be the "Best" 15 books in history, just your personal 15 that moved you or changed your way of thinking or got you hooked on reading! Whatever you want to list.
Just don't take forever to think about it, the first 15 that come to mind!"

Here they are in no particular order of import.

Anne of Green Gables Series, L.M. Montgomery
The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence
A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L'Engle
The Wisdom of the Desert, Thomas Merton from the Desert Fathers
The Bible, no specific version but have loved the "stop and think" the Message has brought.
Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri Nouwen
Everything written by Dame Agatha Christie
When the Soul Listens, Jan Johnson
The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis
The Cherry Ames Nurse Series, Helen Wells
George MacDonald, C.S. Lewis
The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis
The Five Little Peppers Series, Margaret Sidney (Harriett Mulford Stone)
Uncommon Graces; Christlike Responses to a Hostile World, John Vawter
Winnie the Pooh, A. A. Milne

It's a diverse and eclectic list, so it suits me to a "T". The great thing about reading is how it can take you far away or deep into your soul.

Thanks Lee for bringing many happy memories to mind!

Still reading daily,

jené

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

2009-07-27T23:00:00.000-05:00

The past weekend completely exemplified this quote from Dickens. I headed home from work Saturday tired but looking forward to meeting friends. We were going to see Cirque de Soleil. I took a shower and was getting out when my ankle gave way and I headed speedily to the floor. Unfortunately on the way down I either grabbed or got tangled up in the shower curtain. Seconds after finding myself on the floor I realized the curtain rod must have come loose as it was now clonking me on the back of my head. I admit I did find the humor in the situation after I made sure nothing was going to require a visit to the ER. Finding myself the owner of a rapidly increasing headache I decided not to go out and spent the evening at home. I thought it might be a good idea to stay awake for a little while even though I was pretty sure I hadn't concussed myself. As I had been tired to begin with, that was no easy task. Later when I felt it would be safe to fall asleep I couldn't. The guy upstairs decided to have a party.

The next day I was supposed to meet friends to tour the Menil together. The Menil collection has long been a favorite of mine and I get there often. Thanks to the generosity of the Menil family the exhibit is free and it's a great place for an art lover of meager means to visit. When I woke Sunday morning I was sorer than I had been when I went to bed. I seriously considered withdrawing from the outing. After some stretching and praying, I decided not to forgo the gathering. Regardless of my great regard for the Menil, the best part of the day was going to be spending time with people I treasure. It was especially important as one of those coming is a sweet friend who is moving away soon. I would completely regret giving up any time I can spend with her before she leaves. I cannot recall any particular moment which made the day shine, but shine it did! I believe the day sparkled because all of us truly appreciate the others. I feel God has gifted me greatly in giving me these "jewels" as friends.

The perfect way to top off the day came after I returned home. Kim-Ling had brought me home and we had a wonderful time sharing many thoughts and ideas. While she was still here my brother-in-love Victor stopped by for a visit on his way home. Having him here, even for a little while, capped the day superbly. As a little girl I often wished for a brother. I am so grateful my sisters married such sweet guys for me to claim as brother.

So the weekend really did have the best and the worst in store for me and I am pleased to have had such a time.

Dickensianly,

jené

Happy Birthday Isaac Watts

2009-07-17T23:14:00.000-05:00

On this the birthday of the "Father of English Hymnody" I give you his own words from a hymn I love.

I sing the mighty power of God, that made the mountains rise,
That spread the flowing seas abroad, and built the lofty skies.
I sing the wisdom that ordained the sun to rule the day;
The moon shines full at God’s command, and all the stars obey.

I sing the goodness of the Lord, who filled the earth with food,
Who formed the creatures through the Word, and then pronounced them good.
Lord, how Thy wonders are displayed, where’er I turn my eye,
If I survey the ground I tread, or gaze upon the sky.

There’s not a plant or flower below, but makes Thy glories known,
And clouds arise, and tempests blow, by order from Thy throne;
While all that borrows life from Thee is ever in Thy care;
And everywhere that we can be, Thou, God art present there.

So very grateful that anywhere I can be God is present there,

jené

Praying the Hours

2009-07-13T21:55:00.004-05:00

I have been praying the hours in a different manner recently. In addition to setting aside time during the day to spend time in prayer, I find myself often praying "Help me get through this hour." I will confess those short prayerful pleas make the majority of my prayers of late. It amazes me how they can lift me up and keep me going when I find myself shattered beyond my endurance. Never has it been so evident to me that God's grace is not just fresh every morning, but fresh whenever I call upon it.

I've learned much with this twist on Liturgy of the Hours. Arthur Paul Boers once said that framing each day with morning and evening prayers will affect the way you live. I believe my fast and frequent connections with the Almighty frame it so well I have no choice but to rejoice. Many times when feeling overwhelmed, and unable to move another inch, I'll find a momentary connection fills me with the hope that I can do more. Once the hope is there it becomes a reality.

There were several times today when I felt completely done in, yet a whispered plea brought the wish to do more. I am working to make this a permanent part of my life. Again another blessing is brought by my current suffering. I doubt I would ever have found the desire to pray so often had the need not been forced upon me. God certainly knows the way to my stubborn and independent heart and I am grateful.

Praying the hours, the half hours, and the minutes,

jené

Never a Student Again

2009-07-05T21:36:00.003-05:00

Don't let the title throw you. I hope to always be learning new things and look forward to all there is for me to learn in what I hope will be a very long life.

I never want to be a student again as a follower of Christ. Give me a moment to explain. Let's start with a couple of definitions.

Student: 1. A person who studies a particular academic subject 2. A person seriously devoted to some subject, whether academic or not.

Disciple: 1. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another. 2. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.

I am ashamed to admit for much of my life I was more of a student of Christ than a disciple. I immersed myself in study in the mistaken belief that it was the path to the holiness I sought. I was wrong.

It is in the sharing of my faith I find holiness. I have found the me I want to be in service to others, in sharing my struggles with fellow disciples, in working to end hunger, in fashioning peace, and eradicating slavery. This is what I was after, and this is how I want to spend the rest of my life.

Embracing and spreading,

jené

never gone

2009-06-30T22:12:00.007-05:00

Thinking of a long ago choir buddy's favorite song tonight and knowing the singing in heaven is all the sweeter.

glad for good memories and hope of reunion,

jené

My Daddy

2009-06-21T22:17:00.004-05:00

The first man who loved me,
The first man I loved.

The man who taught me to pray,
The man I am sure prays for me often.

The man who showed me how a father loves,
The man who showed me how my heavenly Father loves.

The man I want to be proud of me,
The man I am proud to know.

The man who taught me much,
The man who allows me to teach him too.

The man I thank God for everyday,
My Daddy!

Paternally blessed,

jené

Laughter may be the best medicine, but a chuckle has healing power too!

2009-06-16T21:49:00.002-05:00

After a night with limited sleep but seemingly unlimited pain, I left the house this morning for work. When I went to step off the curb to get into my car, my knee gave out and down I went. I landed right on top of my lunch. After making a quick inventory and realizing nothing was broken, I turned to pick up my lunch and had my first chuckle of the day. I had packed a Healthy Choice Entree, other than being fairly flattened it seemed to be o.k. I dusted off and headed in to work.

At the end of the day I was very ready to head home. A dear friend came running in because she thought she was late. After taking a moment to catch her breath she looked over the schedule and realized she was not on it. I was looking at the master schedule to make note of my workdays for the next two weeks. She asked me to check if she was supposed to be in today. We both chuckled when we realized she wasn't late, she was three days early! I told her I knew it was going to be a special day after I had fallen this morning and shared with her the tale of my flattened chicken. I looked over at her and we each had a case of the giggles. This makes great sense when you know that we had both started our day comparing notes on insomnia via facebook at 4 o'clock this morning.

God has blessed me greatly with wonderful friends. If you knew Amy you would know that God must love me very much to have placed her in my life. She is quite possibly the most genuine person I know. Add in a wicked sense of humor, a razor sharp mind and ginormous generous heart and you've got her picture. A moment of hilarity with her was the best way to balance out the day's difficulties. Thanks Amy, you brought a cure that was spot on!

Cherishing the treasure of good friends,

jené

Recalling

2009-06-14T18:47:00.003-05:00

Last night as I was sitting on the couch with little girls cuddled all around me I wondered if someday they would recall the evening the way I sometimes drift back to moments of my childhood. After tucking the girls in last night I was reminded of my two favorite memories of my Grandma.

There is nothing outstanding about them, just gentle moments around the house. One memory I hold dear was shelling peas. She would sit with a pan in her lap and I would stand close by. She'd grab a hand full and give me one. I watched intently as if by magic the peas came smoothly out of the pod and fell into the pan. Try as I might I could never get it to go as well. I would snap the pod in pieces, or be unable to pull the string to get it to open. On the few occasions when things did go according to plan the peas would come flying out of the pod. Most missed the pan entirely and landed all around us on the floor. Each time she would just hand me another and let me try again. Never once did I hear a word of rebuke or complaint. I told her I didn't think I would ever be able to do it as well as she could. I remember her smiling at me and saying "Whether you learn how to do this or not, I will always love you." In the years after when I was struggling so with schoolwork, I would often comfort myself by remembering that my Grandma would love me no matter what.

My second treasure I keep of her happened when my grandparents had come to Washington, D.C. to visit us. I cannot remember where we were heading off to but she was helping me to get ready. At the time I had short hair, even so it would often tangle and would require major attention. I remember being frustrated trying to brush my hair. She took the brush from my hand and began to sort out the mess I had made. She worked quietly and quickly. From behind me I heard her say "Just think, God loves you enough to have counted every hair on your head." I was still feeling rather mulish and muttered that nobody else would go to that trouble. For a moment I was sure she hadn't heard me, then ever so softly I felt her part my hair and begin to count "1...2...3...4...5..." I was so overwhelmed! I spun around and hugged her for all I was worth.

As a child, I was certain of my parent's love. To know of her unconditional love was a real gift. Illness took her out of my life long before she made her journey to heaven. I believe had our time together been greater I would have many more memories like these. You see, in all I have ever learned about my grandma, I have heard how much she loved her family and how much she loved her Lord.

I cherish these memories of her and seek to show all the children in my life as much love as she showed me.

Recalling the blessing,

jené

believing

2009-06-11T20:16:00.002-05:00

another day
begun too early
little respite
and yet i find
my soul is comforted
my heart is blessed
my mind is made sure
God loves me beyond measure
His grace my gift
His Spirit sustaining
my weakened life made strong
my imperfection made perfect
His mercy covering me
anytime i fail to see
that every word here
is true.

believing,

jené

What do I see when I look in the mirror?

2009-06-05T20:11:00.003-05:00

So much of my physical appearance has changed in the last few years. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I am surprised by what I find. Yes, I am lighter than I was, that's good. My hair is currently more than half gray . It's graying so evenly that one of my little friends once asked me who highlights my hair! I told her God was doing a fabulous job with that. The changes RA has brought to my joints is a completely different story. I can see what were once lovely hands becoming gnarled and clumsy. I have always had a great pair of gams, but now they are hardly worth noting because of the disfiguring of my knees and ankles.

Growing up I always knew there were many differences between me and my schoolmates. I had to have special help to learn to write. To this day I cannot write in cursive. Knowing I saw the world the way no one else did could have been disastrous save for my mother's words of encouragement. She told me more than once God had wonderful plans for me which needed all my differences.

I think she had more of an impact than even she might have thought.

I can do nothing about the changes now occurring so why should I worry? Gnarled knees and funky cane shouldn't define how others see me, if it does, I can't let it bother me. I want people to think of me based on what they find in my heart. I want them to know how much I love my Jesus. I want others to see how much my heart yearns for everyone to love Him too. I want the world to feel my desire to take care of God's creation. From the people on the planet, to the planet itself, I want to do everything I can to make it better. These are the things I want to see when I look in the mirror.

All this self reflection was brought on by something I read a couple of weeks ago on a blog I love. A beautiful, kind woman had spent weeks finding just the right thing to wear to a wedding. At the eleventh hour a problem arose. I was engrossed in her story waiting to see how she was going to bring about a happy ending. Imagine the gut wrenching disappointment when I realized she had let this snafu defeat her. How could this lovely women not see her beauty transcends anything else she could have chosen to wear? She stayed home and sent her sweetheart off without her. I just wept. She, who knows so very well she is made in God's wonderful image, allowed the vanity of looking good to keep her from facing the world. I want to take her in my arms and remind her she is gorgeous on the inside. That shines through the worst of outfits!

Remembering it is what the heart sees that matters,

jené

Preparation

2009-05-28T21:00:00.001-05:00

I am watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee and am blown away by the level of competition. These kids are amazing! I cannot even begin to calculate how many hours they have spent in study to get to this day. When it all comes down to it, they have to rely on their intuition to see them through this final phase.

"Intuition does not come to an unprepared mind." Einstein

Kavya Shivashankar won this year's contest. It was her fourth time to the finals. This persistent young lady had her mind set on a goal and was willing to do the work to make it happen. She has lived this Einstein quote even if she has never heard it. She won because she could call upon the wealth of knowledge she worked hard to acquire.

This principle of preparation also works on a spiritual level. You cannot expect to be able to discern God's voice if you haven't put time in preparing to hear it. Prayer, study, worship, and fasting are the tools used to get your heart in shape to listen for the Holy Spirit. These past years have caused me to listen more carefully. It isn't some sort of compensation for the suffering, it is that the suffering has left me more time to prepare. My soul becomes more and more able as my body becomes less so. As odd as it seems, I am thankful for it all. I am uncertain I would have chosen to invest the time to get to this point.

So I will remember the good example Kavya has set and seek to follow her leadership.

Preparing,

jené

Touched my heart

2009-05-21T13:31:00.002-05:00

Fired up the laptop at breakfast to check out my favorite online daily devotional and was rewarded with good words that went right along with what I had already read this morning. They so touched my heart I decided to use them here.

It may seem odd to think that God commands us to love. Doesn't love come naturally? How can we love if we don't feel loving?

These are good questions, but the answers we come to are more important. Consider now love, the way we love, and how we love as God's obedient children.

"You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another."

John 15:16-17

I wish it was that easy. Love everyone? There certainly are some people who I know don’t love me! Am I really supposed to love them anyway? Will that really bear fruit? Will that fruit really last?

Yes, it will, Jesus explains. All these commandments were chosen specifically for us by Jesus. His wisdom and love are exemplary. He certainly loved people who did not love him in the first place. He loved all sorts of people, and not just his band of disciples either. He loved mischievous priests. He loved possessed outsiders. He loved Samaritan women. He loved all of creation so much that he gave his life for everyone else. And then, to prove the timelessness of his love, he came back.

The end of today's text really sums this up, doesn’t it? God gives us all of these commandments for the sole purpose of directing humanity to love one another. Kinda makes me want to follow them a bit more closely, don’t you think?

Jacob Bolton

Lover of all creation, lead me in a direction so that I, too, will love on command.

You have instructed me to love others, and it is up to me to follow your lead.

Amen.

For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:14

Being led to love,

jené

Time to get ready

2009-05-18T21:17:00.002-05:00

For the first time in a long time I will need to purchase fresh hurricane supplies. The new season begins in just two weeks. I used everything last year and will need to replace it all. It was the first time I had no supplies left in my many years on the coast.

As I got to thinking about what I needed, I was struck by how often I would spend the spring drinking all the leftover water and eating the foodstuffs. Every year I make sure I am prepared for a disaster, and most years it never happens.

Ike demolished my hurricane supplies and made me realize just how important it is to be ready. Several of my neighbors hadn't been. Because I was, I was able to share with them. It was so gratifying to find myself able to help someone while we were caught in that season of difficulty.

I seem to be having my own personal season of difficulty right now. Just like I store storm supplies, I have stored up spiritual supplies as well. I nourish my soul with His word. I find comfort in His presence. I am encouraged by His unending love.

The fact I keep returning to is the fact there are so many around me who also find themselves in this season. I want to be just as open in sharing these supplies as well. In that I am so blessed. I have so many friends in various faith or lack of faith walks. I can share God's love with them.

I was talking with a friend earlier today and we compared how our lives are so enriched by having so many opportunities to spread God's love to those around us. On the way home tonight I felt such an overwhelming sadness for those who know of God's love but have no one to share it with. Those who only have friends of faith never learn what a gift it is to be used by God to dispense His grace.

It seems that all around me there are people who are hoarding God's love. They only interact on a personal level with those who are already on their faith journey. They may do mission trips or volunteer for a project, but never invest themselves daily in the life of someone who needs God's grace. How depressing! For as soul mending as experiencing God's love personally is, sharing it with others is soul healing!

So fourteen days from now when hurricane season officially begins I want to be ready for any season!

Getting ready,

jené

Can't get away

2009-05-13T11:16:00.001-05:00

I am tired, overwhelmed and in a season of darkness. But it is here I am learning the true depths of the love God has for me. It is here that I know beyond doubt that there is nothing which can ever remove me from His love.

This morning I asked God to give me the grace to face the day and an old hymn popped into my mind while I was showering.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that foll’west all my way,
I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
- George Matheson

I am grateful to know that nothing I can do or nothing that can happen to me will take me from His love. And keeping that in mind means I may be tired, I may be overwhelmed, and I may be in the dark, but He is here with me. Knowing that is what gets me up each day and helps me to sleep at night.

Resting my weary soul,

jené

The Prince's Rainforests Project Awareness Campaign Video

2009-05-08T22:29:00.001-05:00

worth a watch.

Waxing philosophical

2009-05-04T22:20:00.002-05:00

Got home Saturday night and found God had answered the little girls' prayers when I found a parking spot right in front of my apartment. I was overjoyed, home right at midnight and no long hike from the car! All of that excitement had me so off balance I decided to tackle a task I hadn't had time or energy for.

I had been unable to shave my legs while dealing with shingles. Now that I had finally recovered I went by the store to replace my razor. Standing in the personal care aisle at Target I recalled smooth weeks waxing used to bring. I had waxed all through my twenties and thirties. For reasons I cannot recall, I switched to shaving somewhere in my early forties. .

So with things going so well Saturday night, I decided it was time to return to the land of the hairless. Maybe my memory is fuzzy, or maybe biological changes came into play: but whatever the cause when I peeled the strip off I wanted to scream like a little girl! I don't remember it being that bad. I gave it a couple of more passes and decided to stop before I passed out! I have become a complete wimp!

I am firmly convinced that waxing should be added to the list of unacceptable practices covered in the Geneva Convention. If I had known any state secrets I would have spilled them.

So if in the future you hear of me waxing, it will definitely be of the philosophical variety.

Looking for a new razor,

jené

What a memory!

2009-04-26T21:54:00.002-05:00

Last night is a memory I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life. It started around my table, soup & sandwich combo + best friend = fabulous time. It just got better from there. We headed downtown to see Seal in concert. Fun tidbit, Lee and I both saw Seal at perform at a concert in the early nineties. We were there separately and it was before we had met. It was such a special treat that we were going together this time.

We got there and found that we could sit together even though our tickets called for us to split up. We ended up in front of a mom and daughter. It was the daughter's first time to attend a concert and she was so excited. I was thrilled to see that Peter Cincotti was the opening act. I enjoy his music and knew Lee would too. He did!

When Seal took to the stage he was as good as he had been when I saw him all those years ago. He has a bigger repertoire to draw from now and sang from every stage of his career. His last song of the night was a cover of "People Get Ready." It has long been a favorite of mine, it has been around almost as long as I have. I have heard it sung by different artists. I have sung it around a campfire, on the beach, at a prayer march, and at a peace vigil. It never fails to touch my soul. I hope it touches your soul too.

People get ready
There's a train a-coming
You don't need no baggage
You just get on board
All you need is faith
To hear the diesels humming
Don't need no ticket
You just thank the Lord

People get ready
For the train to Jordan
Picking up passengers
From coast to coast
Faith is the key
Open the doors and board them
There's room for all
among the loved the most

There ain't no room
for the hopeless sinner
Who would hurt all mankind just
To save his own
Have pity on those
whose chances are thinner
Cause there's no hiding place
From the Kingdom's Throne

So people get ready
for the train a-coming
You don't need no baggage
you just get on board !
All you need is faith
to hear the diesels humming
Don't need no ticket
you just thank, you just thank the Lord.

thanking the Lord,

jené

2009-04-24T21:49:00.003-05:00

Saw this on another blog and just couldn't resist placing it here. She's is absolutely precious and makes it impossible for me to say memorization is too hard.

Smiling,

jené

Bright moments

2009-04-23T16:59:00.002-05:00

There have been several bright moments this past week. Times that had my heart reveling in joy! Most of them make sense. My mom and dad were able to come spend a couple of days with me. That always brings a bright spot. Mom and I stayed up late into the night talking about everything and nothing. You know, the kind of thing you do with someone who will love you no matter what you say. There were silly moments of light too. Out in front of HEB singing "Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener." Who knew my dad knew the words? Later we went to see my favorite family and watched with great hilarity as three little girls performed their show for us. All of these moments shine brightly in my memory as I review the week.

On Monday my parents headed home and I headed off to work. I worked until early afternoon and then went to meet a friend at a funeral. We were going to support Keith who was burying his only daughter. The service was a spectacularly bright moment. We had gathered to commemorate what to most would seem a short life. Leigh was 29 when she joined Christ in Heaven. Instead we celebrated all she had done in those years. She traveled and lived around the world. She made good use of her creative skills. But the most important thing she accomplished was in causing everyone who met her to love her. She stayed very close to her family no matter how far away she lived. Everywhere she went she gathered people to her as friends. The only thing everyone at the service had in common was Leigh. See, she knew we need to take the light of God's love wherever we go. I hope when I am gone people will think of me the way I think of Leigh.

Appreciating the light,

jené

sensory overload

2009-04-15T21:25:00.002-05:00

These last few weeks have been a mercurial journey from joy to sorrow and back again. The soul happy times of service in Project 180, supporting a friend as she completed a daunting task, the privilege of sharing the moment with one of God's children as she realized the need to give Him her all, brought joy beyond measure. Friends who lost their tiny baby, increasing pain and limitations, and heartache for someone suffering through a difficult bedside vigil ending with the loss of his daughter, brought the weight of sorrow.

In all of this there has been a great awareness of God's grace and mercy. I learned long ago life is better if I relinquish all control to Him. It doesn't mean a smooth journey is ahead, it just means there is comfort in the journey. I have been recalling my favorite Spurgeon Quote often of late:

"The shadow of God is not the occasional resort,
but the constant abiding place, of the saint.
Here we find not only our consolation, but our habitation,
not only a loved haunt, but a home.
We ought never to be out, of the shadow of God.
It is to dwellers, not to visitors, that the Lord promises his protection.
' He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.'"
C.H. Spurgeon

Oh so comforted to live in His shadow,
jené

Loving God means loving my neighbors

2009-04-06T19:48:00.003-05:00

This was the best way to spend a day off! I had a blast!

Spent a couple of hours Wednesday before small group stuffing Easter eggs. My assignment Saturday was to stuff hot dogs into buns and wrap them in foil. A big change from years past. I have shoveled dirt, dug holes, painted classrooms and moved furniture. I am so glad my limitations this year did not keep me from serving. Project 180 has been the highlight of my spring for 4 years now and I didn't want to give it up.

Grateful to love my neighbors,

jené

Hard truth from the funny pages

2009-03-29T13:26:00.002-05:00

In sad agreement,

jené

Time on my hands

2009-03-26T16:46:00.002-05:00

This week has given me more downtime than I usually have. The upside has been listening to several new audio books, the downside has been reading email I probably would have just deleted in normal circumstances. If nothing else, I will no longer feel even a twinge of remorse in deleting emails sent encouraging me to "honor God" "show you love Jesus" or any other "Christian" label.

If this week has done nothing else it has reaffirmed to me just how right Rob Bell was when he said "Christian is a great noun and a poor adjective." -Velvet Elvis, Repainting the Christian Faith.

It seems many wish to qualify their ideas by using the word "Christian" as an adjective. According to the American Heritage Dictionary when the word is used as an adjective it means: relating to or characteristic of Christianity. As a noun the definition is: One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

I will admit I have long held a distaste for labeling things Christian. From music to businesses, to books to read, I could never understand the need or even the desire to limit God by labeling only certain things as belonging to Him. He is the creator of the world. Everything already is His. I can find truth and encouragement from many sources. They do not have to be a product of a Christian manufacturer or publisher. A poem which celebrates the beauty of the earth, regardless of the writer's spiritual state, celebrates God. For how can you honor the beauty of the object and not honor He who created it? Many times a song has touched my heart or opened my eyes to a life lesson. Most often God has used a "secular" song. Is there even such a thing? God created the songwriter. He created the musicians. Their work would not be here to reach me if not for Him

I am a Christian. Everything I do falls under the teachings of Jesus. I take those teachings with me everywhere. They go with me when I go to work, to the grocery store, when I pump gas, when I chat with the mailman and when I go to church. They are no more important in the latter than they are in the former. Everywhere I go and everything I do is done because of how Jesus is teaching me to live my life.

Deleting from this day on with no guilt,

jené

Twitter Hazards

2009-03-24T16:15:00.002-05:00

Just a little helpful hint to recall while twittering. A dear friend recently fell into a ditch when she was walking the park and texting.

Twitter with care,

jené

Wearing the green

2009-03-17T00:02:00.003-05:00

In the morning I will put on my green shirt and go to work. I will remember that St. Patrick dedicated his life to loving those who had enslaved him. He made the right choice, not the easy choice. Hate is easy, love takes courage. I need to be as courageous as he. As I am wearing my green shirt, I pray that it will remind me to love those I find it difficult to love.

Wanting to wear the green in my heart every day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day,

jené

Happy Birthday Mum!

2009-03-15T22:20:00.000-05:00

There is one person on this earth who knows all my secrets and loves me anyway. That person is my mother. She is my confessor, best friend, guidance counselor and sounding board all rolled into one. She comforts, consoles and corrects always using the gentleness of her heart.

I look at her and am able to see how God loves me.
All of my life she has been there for me.
When I was headed down a wrong path,
when I didn't listen to her,
and when I came back shamed,
her welcome was never withheld,
her forgiveness never faked,
her love never ceasing.
I look at my mother and realize,
this side of heaven
she's the clearest vision
I will have of the face of God!

Thanks Mum ! Thanks God for giving me such a mum!

love,

jené

Practicing what I preach

2009-03-10T22:43:00.001-05:00

It's never easy for me to admit when I have failed. I have failed again and it took me a while to even figure out where I had gone wrong.

Nights are hard now, finding enough relief from pain to sleep is the main goal of every night. Several times in the last few weeks I have been able to fall asleep only to be awakened by loud music being blared by either neighboring apartments or cars blasting tunes. I have felt angry, frustrated and helpless to do anything about the situation. Last night it happened again. I lay there feeling angrier and angrier. I knew I was going to have trouble falling back to sleep. When I can't sleep I usually spend the time praying. I feel then at least the time awake is put to good use.

Last night I shifted around until I was fairly comfortable and started to pray. Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say I tried to pray. I knew my heart wasn't in it so I tried to figure out what was wrong. I was still feeling anger at those who had woken me from a hard won sleep.

In a moment of clarity I realized I wasn't even trying to love my neighbor at that point. I was holding on to bitter feelings and even worse, I felt justified to do so. It is not as though I don't feel they bear the blame for being rude, but that does not negate my need to forgive them. Whether they seek my forgiveness or not, I am bound by God's command to do so. As I was laying there asking God to give me the desire to forgive them I realized something else I had forgotten. I forgot that the person who woke me is a creation of God's. He has God's fingerprints all over Him and that is reason enough for me to love him.

Thankfully God forgives much better than I do and He gifted me with the desire to forgive the ones I felt had offended me. Right now there is someone outside blasting their bass. It is reminding me that God loves me even when I fail and He will give me whatever I need to share His love with others.

Glad to know that falling short never takes me out of His love,

jené

Flat on my face

2009-03-06T19:35:00.003-06:00

When I first read this cartoon it made me think of how many times when danger is near it is important to prostrate yourself on the ground. In a fire you are taught to crawl along the ground where the air is freshest. If you catch on fire you are to stop drop and roll. When you feel faint you are to lie down.

I experienced a variation of this saving yourself by falling on your face these past couple of weeks. I developed shingles on top of everything else I have going on. The first thing I thought when I saw the rash was "Dear God, how do I cope with this too?" So I did what I have learned is the best thing to do in any situation. I fell flat on my face and begged God for the grace and courage to get through the next few weeks. I fall on my face often enough now that frankly the floor is becoming my second home.

The best gift has been the people who are willing to join me on the floor. I called several hard praying friends and they went to work. I love friends who don't just say they will pray for you, but will stop whatever they are doing and pray right there with you. There is such power and glory in two of God's children praying together. Face to face or over the phone, there is no better gift than someone who will go to God with you. I am so blessed to have people in my life who don't only claim to know Christ, but who instead show they know Christ!

Grateful for a God who sends me comfort on the floor,

jené

Lent

2009-02-24T21:42:00.002-06:00

My pastor has asked the question " What are you giving up for Lent?" For me, the whole emphasis of Lent was more upon what I was going to take on than what I was going to give up. Friends are giving up soda, chocolate, a popular item I have heard this year is giving up facebook or twitter. I think for many the whole meaning of Lent has been twisted into some sort of self improvement movement.

Lent was originally observed as a way to draw closer to God in preparation for the celebration of Easter. The practice of fasting was more than not eating, it meant taking the time you would have spent eating and spending that time in prayer and Bible study instead. Each year I spend time in prayer about where to engage my time during Lent. In this past year I have been so blessed with many opportunities to serve my fellow man. As I was thinking and praying about this the other night I found myself being drawn to spend this season in service to others. Easter is all about the sacrifice Christ made for me. As a disciple of His, can I do less?

So this year for Lent I am sacrificing time and will spend it helping others. Since making the decision just three days ago I have already been presented with several chances in the next forty days to do just that. Proves the fact that at the moment of commitment God moves the entire universe to conspire to assist me!

Looking forward to what the season will bring,

jené

Kingdom Assignment

2009-02-18T20:30:00.003-06:00

Kingdom Assignment

Kingdom Assignment: Hope

Kingdom Assignment: Giving Back

I was so blessed to be a part of this endeavor. Gathering with all those who had taken this journey on Sunday made for a glorious day! It is not often you get so many together who have made the choice not to live in what the cross has done for them but to live instead in what the cross is doing in them! I was touched and humbled to have played a part in this adventure.

This had taken me out of my comfort zone but it gave me the realization that I can choose to take what is given to me and work to realize heaven on earth. Nothing is so heavenly as sharing God's love with those around me!

Thankful for the life lesson,

jené

Love

2009-02-13T21:56:00.002-06:00

It seems only fitting on this day before Valentine's day to reflect on love. In the last few years I have felt overwhelmed with the need to share God's love with everyone around me.

In a "God winks" kind of week I have found myself in different dialogues with several fellow bloggers and friends on love. One who became convicted because his preconceived notions kept him from reaching out to someone. Thankfully he saw the opportunity to change his perceptions and now has a new outlook. Another was someone who was offended by an ad a church had sent out asking people to let God be their valentine. It seemed he could not see anything except a degradation of the salvation message. Because of this he could not even give them the benefit of the doubt that their attempt might have just been a way to express God's love in an easily understandable way.

This week I signed up for this year's Project 180 at church. For the past four years I have enjoyed being part of sharing God's love with our neighbors. It looks to be a long day as I will also be volunteering to help with the Avon walk for breast cancer on that same day. (the 4 am shift no less!) An acquaintance remarked at least part of my day would be spent in Godly activities. Taking a moment to choose my words carefully I told her I believed the entire day would be spent that way. Sadly, she does not realize that everything I do is done for the Lord. You cannot separate your spiritual life from your life. They are one in the same.

I have spent much of this week asking myself just how far could or should I go to make God's love felt. What am I willing to give of myself? I have also spent a good deal of time unable to do anything outside of the apartment. Funny how God can make good use of my "down" time. I kept finding the lyrics to Bob Dylan's song "To Make You Feel My Love" running through my brain. N.B. if you have not yet heard Adele's cover of this you should give it a listen.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

I know this was written to show how far a lover would go to reassure his love. But it had me thinking of just how far would I go to share God's love. Before you begin questioning my sanity or theological thought processes, I know there is more to God beyond His love for me. But you have to start somewhere and I think the I John 4:19 is as good a place as any; "We love because He first loved us."

Loving responsively,

jené

My kitty is not doing so well...

2009-02-09T22:09:00.001-06:00

I got a call Friday night from one of my favorite little girls. We had spent the afternoon together the day before and had talked about how her kitty cat was probably not going to be with us for much longer. She was calling to let me know what was happening. I answered my phone and she said "nené, my kitty isn't doing so well, he passed away." I was torn in two that moment. My heart felt so much for the loss of her furry friend, but part of me had to work to reign in a chuckle at her phrasing. As I worked to reassure her that we never really lose those we love, I kept thinking how many things in life bring a duality with them.

Right now I am really struggling with pain and impaired movement. Yet these same things have brought blessings as well. So many have reached out to show their love and given me words of compassion and encouragement. Even being stuck in bed has brought blessing. Nothing like being able to do nothing to make sure your heart is settled and to feel God's love flooding your soul. So RA brings both hardship and blessing. I pray I remain open enough to always see the duality and appreciate the gifts difficult times bring.

Grateful to have both sides of the coin,

jené

I got tagged on facebook

2009-02-03T20:43:00.000-06:00

Deciding Nancy had the right idea, I am posting this here as it will make it's way over to facebook. Courtney tagged me in the 25 random things.

Kindergarten was not mandatory, so I never went. It probably was for the best. I have multiple learning disabilities and early failure would have changed much.
I went to seven different schools from the first to twelfth grade, from England to Japan.
I love to play in the snow.
I have perfect pitch. When I was very young I freaked out my parents by announcing the piano was out of tune.
My first piano teacher knew of my learning troubles and discovered turning the sheet music upside down helped.
I pray for my nieces and nephews everyday. I love them dearly! As I have no children I'll need one of them to care for me in my old age. I am praying they will have kind hearts and the means necessary to care for me in the manner to which I hope to become accustomed.
I have rheumatoid arthritis.
I love British comedy the sillier the better.
I walk when I am troubled or need to settle my heart. Preferably on a beach, but you can find me on the streets of Houston several times per week.
I print everything. My name is the only thing I can handle in cursive. (dysgraphia is one of the disabilities in my learning troubles)
I always unravel anything I crochet, somewhere in the middle I start to go backwards.
One of my old boyfriends is now a Catholic priest! In fact he is a Bishop. He loves to tell everyone I drove him to the priesthood. Actually I just told him we had no future as long as he was not serious about his faith. He got serious!
When I need to remember something I make up a song about it. I can recall lyrics better than anything.
When I get sick, I want my mommy. I don't think I will ever be too old to want her with me.
I am learning to create art using a Wacom tablet. It's a change, but a welcome one.
I have had a life long struggle with being patient. I often lose.
I love to take naps and do so whenever possible.
I enjoy learning new things and try to pick up some new skill each year.
I hope to grow up just like my grandfather. He was a "fine old English gentleman." He stayed young at heart and was the kindest and most giving man you could ever meet.
Green has always been my favorite color, so much so that for one birthday I asked my mom to make my birthday cake green.
Making bread is therapy for me. Kneading the dough helps me relax.
Chuy's deluxe tomatillo or creamy jalepeno sauce is a sure fire way to open my sinuses. It's just a bonus it's so delicious!
I love getting email and text messages from my niece Grace. It always makes me smile.
If days could start without mornings my life would be perfect.
I want everyone to know how much Jesus loves them and I intend to tell everybody, one person at a time.

Probably more than you ever wanted to know,

jené

proverb

2009-02-02T22:40:00.000-06:00

Tonight has been a "Man plans, God laughs" kind of night. I came home knackered, dropped the groceries on the floor grabbing only those needing refrigeration. Putting them away I decided a cheese sandwich and a long hot bath would be the perfect segue into an early night.

My knee gave out in the kitchen and the sandwich hit the floor. As long as I was down there anyway, I scrubbed the floor. Made a new sandwich and finally had dinner. Filled the tub with epsom salts and nice hot water. Just as I was readying to step in, my phone rang. Almost let it go but decided to see who it was just in case. A friend who is in the middle of financial straights was calling. I was torn; I really needed the heat to ease the pain in my joints, but she is having such a difficult time I just didn't feel right about not answering her call. When I finally got off the phone the water was cold. Drained the tub and started all over. Emerged from the tub all wrinkled and somewhat relieved. Opened the lotion to slather all over; I did. Motor skills being what they are, I dropped the bottle with the lid off and sent lotion all over the bathroom floor. Tonight just seems destined for me to scrub floors. As I sat in the lotion I couldn't help but laugh. Only God could take everyday occurrences and use them as life lessons for me to seek more laughter in my life.

So here I am at 10:30 pm having well missed what I hoped to be an early night. I find myself still smiling. There's a lot of truth in old Yiddish proverbs and I am glad. God reminded me tonight that even in the midst of pain laughter can be found if you just choose to find it. I'm heading to bed now, the groceries are still by the door, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, but I have the cleanest floors in town!

Sleep tight!

-jené

Here a change, there a change, everywhere a change

2009-01-21T20:53:00.003-06:00

This has nothing to do with politics. I just wanted to assure those who regularly come here to read my blog, that the rapidly changing page layout is nothing to worry about. I have not acquired blog schizophrenia. I am designing pages for others and always try the layout on my blog before turning it over to a customer.

It has become a way for me to earn something without having to stand. I still work four days a week at The Container Store. That is now my main job and I absolutely love it! I get to help people and work with some of the most generous and creative people around! I will confess however, that it is becoming harder and harder physically. Part of it is related to this being the worst time of the year for me. Constantly changing weather plays havoc with my disease. Winter in Houston is nothing but a series of changes. Things should get better later on in the year.

In the future whenever you happen to find your way back here and see things changed, smile, it probably means I got paid.

Changing all the time,

jené

Inauguration prayer

2009-01-19T21:59:00.003-06:00

Presidential Prayer Team Member Donna Pirone wrote a great prayer for tomorrow as we welcome our newest President into his office. I love all of it but this part from the center really struck home for me.

Today, he stands before you and before our nation with his hand on your Word to pledge his allegiance to you and to us. We need his help, he needs our help, and together we all need your help, for without you we can do nothing.

I think it is important to realize that while it is easy to recognize we need his help, it is less obvious how much he needs our help. Our country is in a real mess right now. You would think that no sane person would want to lead a country facing all the problems we are. No one would unless they had a desire to do something outweighed the fear of the task.

So tomorrow my new President will lay his hand on the Lincoln Bible and say these words:

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And when he does I vow to do all I can to help and support him.

Praying for my President

-jené

Imagine the change you could make

2009-01-18T18:09:00.004-06:00

I doubt even Ms. Parks envisioned how far the change she was responsible for would evolve.

Just another example that one person can have a huge impact.

-jené

You must be the change you want to see in the world

2009-01-14T21:35:00.000-06:00

This is my favorite quote from Gandhi. It puts the responsibility for the state of the world on each of us. If you see trouble around you, what are you doing about it? Everyone I had lunch with today is a regular blood donor. They see an opportunity to do something that is needed and take it. It is just that simple. More than once this week I have been talking with friends and they have shared how much some act of service they are involved in has changed their life. Taking action to help solve a problem brings a two-fold response. It helps the situation and it blesses the one giving of himself. I cannot tell you how much my soul is renewed when I place myself in service to others. I am always so blessed and my spirit is refreshed.

Next week begins a new administration. Our President will be facing many problems both here and abroad. America is in for a change. Now is the time to ask yourself what part you are going to play in it. No matter who you voted for, now is the time for us to come together and work with each other. I believe God places each of us here to share His love for the world. I am excited about the chance to do so in this new year and can't wait to see how it will change me.

Thankful for the blessing in sharing love,

jené

Deserve

2009-01-11T16:49:00.002-06:00

I have heard the word deserve often today and it has caught my attention. I was up early this morning to head to church for the blood drive. I had an appointment for 8:30 am. It was the best time to fit into my day. In the middle of my donation I developed a clot in the line and in trying to fix the problem I bled out onto the floor. I was in no danger as my phlebotomist was very attentive and did a great job. I joked with her that although I give every quarter, I usually had the donation bagged, not spilled all over the place. She was very apologetic and remarked I would probably be sore and have a colorful bruise this week. She told me "Here you are doing something good for a stranger and you have to suffer, you don't deserve this." I laughed and said " I don't deserve God's grace either, but I am grateful for it all the same." After a bottle of water and a banana I headed over to the Chapel for the 9:30 service.

We began a sermon series today on love. At the beginning of his sermon our seminarian said we were going to have a quiz in which we would respond by a show of hands. It started off with who loves ....reading, sports, coffee and the like. He then asked "Who believes they deserve God's love?" To this question I did not see any raised hands. He then chided us for not believing we deserved God's love. As I listened to the rest of his sermon I kept returning to the word deserve. If he had asked me if I was accepting of God's love, I would have raised my hand. But I truly believe that what makes God's love a gift to me, is His gifting it to me regardless of my worthiness to receive it. So I have to confess, I just could not get around this point in his sermon. I think he was trying to make us see we should accept God's love with open arms.

When I got home a little while ago I pulled my dictionary from the bookshelf and looked for the definition of deserve. This is what I found:

To earn by service; to be worthy of (something due, either good or evil); to merit; to be entitled to; as, the laborer deserves his wages; a work of value deserves praise.

Using any of these definitions I can truthfully say I do not deserve God's love. I am however thankful that He does indeed love me. I believe every human being should be loved, but I believe that because God has loved them. If I am accepting of His love for me, how can I deny the same to anyone else? I know the reason God loves me is because He desires to do so.

God is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angered, he's rich in love.
He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
Psalm 103:8-11
The Message

Accepting, delighting and giving thanks for His love,

jené

Yelling at God

2009-01-08T19:32:00.004-06:00

how can i hurt like this?

i know You love me and sometimes i wonder,

why don't You heal me?

i know You still work miracles today.

so why haven't You rescued me from this agony?

am i doing something wrong?

am i out of Your favor?

i lay here crying when i hear You whisper,

"I love you my child and will never let you go,

yell at me all you want,

I will never cease to hold you in My embrace."

and it comes to me in a blinding flash:

i don't have to wonder if You are real,

i don't have to question Your presence in my life,

i survived today because i knew You were with me.

so this disease which is taking my body from me,

is gifting me with the surety of Your love in my life.

it brings me to a place few get to see,

absolute certainty of Your Hand on my life.

for that i will be grateful.

jené

If you can't say something nice....

2009-01-06T18:13:00.004-06:00

......don't say anything at all. It worked for Bambi's friend Thumper and pretty well for me too.

-jené

Review

2009-01-05T19:56:00.002-06:00

2008; it was the year that.....

I went back to living on my own.
A hurricane wreaked havoc all around me and was a big hit to my budget.
A cane became part of my daily life.
Physical therapy didn't kill me.
You can make it on $20 a month for groceries if you are very careful.
Having furniture is over-rated.
I utilized my skills for efficient use of space to live smaller.
I learned that what I thought was painful last year, was just a preview.

It was also the year that....

I learned which of my friends would pray for me and more importantly with me.
I was blessed with friends who put their love for me into action. ( Nothing says love like helping someone move.)
Natural disaster led to new friendships.
Most of the time I chose to laugh rather than cry.
I had proof positive that my family is the greatest ever!
I enjoyed new freedoms.
In my times of deepest agony, God was there with me.
I was truly grateful for everything on both of these lists!

Expectantly waiting for the joy this year will bring,

jené

The Loss of an Old Friend

2008-12-27T21:04:00.002-06:00

With great sadness I must announce my camera has finally died. While I am disappointed to lose my most often used tool of creativity, I am grateful for all of the good times we have had together.

In ten years I have taken over 500,000 photos with it. I used it to express my creativity and to record priceless moments in the lives of those I love. I will miss being able to do so now.

I have had ample opportunity in the past to do without things I enjoy. I find it helpful to remember that they are only things, and things can eventually be replaced. I currently live without a couch or comfy chair. This had not stopped me from living a good life. I even have friends over often for fun and fellowship. Good friends never mind the lack of furniture!

As many of you can remember from this blog in years past, I have spent long periods of time with no computer as well. Made posting more difficult but not impossible for the determined.

I have spent much time here in Houston with no car. The two longest periods combine to over a year and a half dedicated to waiting for a bus or walking where I needed to be. Outside of getting wet and needing to allow more time to get places, life did not change much.

I see this latest loss as just another reminder that is important to remember where you find your joy. Is it in the things you own, or is it in the intangibles of life? I have good friends who love and encourage me. I have family who love and support me. I have a God who dares me to claim Him as my best friend. All in all, I am one of the most blessed people in the world.

Saddened by not disheartened,

jené

Christmas message

2008-12-25T12:02:00.002-06:00

Today is not really Jesus' birthday, it's just the day we set aside to celebrate it. Over 2000 years after He came to earth there are still millions who use His life as an example in how to live. As someone who is thankful to have the gift of His love in my life, I of course find great comfort and joy in the sacrifice He made all those years ago. It always touches me to realize He left heaven for me.

As part of a honoring my family's heritage I always take time to check out the Queen's Holiday Message to her people. It is usually well written and often cheering. This year for the first time I found myself so overwhelmed by the message I was crying for joy. She reminded us all of the life Our Lord lived and how we can find meaning in living as He lived. I had not intended to post any additional videos today after leaving you three to watch last night. Her message so touched me I want to share it with you.

Happy Christmas to all,

jené

Music says it best

2008-12-24T21:46:00.005-06:00

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

Wexford Carol

O Come All Ye Faithful

Getting out of bed

2008-12-22T21:34:00.003-06:00

This morning when I woke up I was so toasty and warm all tucked up in my blankets. I could feel how cold it was outside of that cocoon by the chill on the end of my nose. As I lay there working up the desire and energy to get out of bed and face the cold I knew awaited me; I hesitated. Why would I want to leave a snugly warm environment, for the cold harsh world which would exacerbate the pain in my joints?

As I wrestled with the whole "putting my toes out of bed" I kept thinking of how Christ left heaven for me. He left a place where He was one with the Father, a place where He had been forever to come to a cold and bitter life. And He did it simply because He loves me.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1: 1,2,14 New International Version

Try as I might, I cannot really understand the depth of a love that would cause even Christ to leave the perfection that is heaven to come to earth. A place that would bring Him pain, humility, the agony of His own not recognizing Him, and the final degradation of submitting Himself to die for sin someone else committed. Knowing that He loves me beyond what I can understand is what gives me a reason to get out of bed. It is what makes me want to show His love to others. It is what keeps me longing for the day when I will join Him in heaven.

Not understanding the gift, but grateful all the same,

jené

A Favorite

2008-12-21T21:09:00.000-06:00

A Christmas Carol

The Shepherds had an Angel,
The Wise Men had a star,
But what have I, a little child,
To guide me home from far,
Where glad stars sing together
And singing angels are? –

Lord Jesus is my Guardian,
So I can nothing lack:
The lambs lie in His bosom
Along life's dangerous track:
The wilful lambs that go astray
He bleeding fetches back.

Lord Jesus is my guiding star,
My beacon-light in heaven:
He leads me step by step along
The path of life uneven:
He, true light, leads me to that land
Whose day shall be as seven.

Those Shepherds through the lonely night
Sat watching by their sheep,
Until they saw the heavenly host
Who neither tire nor sleep,
All singing 'Glory glory'
In festival they keep.

Christ watches me, His little lamb,
Cares for me day and night,
That I may be His own in heaven:
So angels clad in white
Shall sing their 'Glory glory'
For my sake in the height.

The Wise Men left their country
To journey morn by morn,
With gold and frankincense and myrrh,
Because the Lord was born:
God sent a star to guide them
And sent a dream to warn.

My life is like their journey,
Their star is like God's book;
I must be like those good Wise Men
With heavenward heart and look:
But shall I give no gifts to God? –
What precious gifts they took!

Lord, I will give my love to Thee,
Than gold much costlier,
Sweeter to Thee than frankincense,
More prized than choicest myrrh:
Lord, make me dearer day by day,
Day by day holier;

Nearer and dearer day by day:
Till I my voice unite
And I sing my 'Glory glory'
With angels clad in white;
All 'Glory glory' given to Thee
Through all the heavenly height

Christina Rosetti 1856

I have long loved this poem and find myself returning to it many times throughout the year.

Hope you enjoy it too,

jené

18 December 1865

2008-12-18T21:06:00.001-06:00

We are now just 32 days away from the inauguration of the first black man for President of the United States. I was thinking of that this morning when I checked my calender and realized today was the anniversary of the day slavery was officially abolished in this country. After Georgia became the 27th of the 36 states to ratify it on December 6, 1865; Secretary of State William Seward declared it in Proclamation on this day. Georgia gave those supporting the amendment the three-fourths they needed to secure the change. Not too surprising the longest hold out for ratifying the 13th amendment was Mississippi, after rejecting it on December 5, 1865. it was finally ratified on March 16, 1995.

In case you are wondering why I included Mississippi's reluctance to formally abolish slavery it is because of one simple fact. While not legal in the US, slavery still exists in many parts of the world. For many a life of indentured service and the stealing of children for the same still goes on. Large numbers of people still have not the freedom you and I enjoy today. Many of them find themselves in their situation because of the way we live. As the largest nation of conspicuous consumers we purchase goods often which owe their creation at least in part to slavery somewhere in the world. While we no longer own slaves, our lifestyle promotes those who do. Now it is the time to ask yourself some hard questions. Do you abhor slavery enough to research the things you buy to make sure you are not supporting slavery? Will you be willing to pay a little more for goods and crops which are regulated through fair trade to make sure you are not part of the slavery equation? Or are you going to just complain about slave trade elsewhere as long as you do not have to make any effort yourself to abolish it?

Long ago one Englishman worked in slave trade for many years and eventually left it behind to live a life for God. So convinced was he of the depravity of slavery he campaigned for it's abolition and worked tirelessly with like minded members of parliament for many long years until it's end.

Completely aware that it was only God's grace that led him from his horrible life to life in the church, he preached of it often. He is perhaps best known for the hymn which follows. Not many are aware of how his song was changed in the early 1900's so I have printed it here just as he wrote it, and frankly it's my favorite version.

"Amazing Grace"

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call’d me here below,
Will be forever mine.

John Newton, Olney Hymns (London: W. Oliver, 1779)

Can you wake up tomorrow and still see the world the way you do right now? Or is it finally time to be part of the answer to ending slavery everywhere for good?

Staying on my soapbox until there are slaves no more,

jené

Your Name in Music

2008-12-16T22:02:00.004-06:00

Being stuck in bed the last few days I spent a good deal of the time when coherent coming up with things I could do to make it seem time was passing quicker than I was observing it pass. At one point I decided to make a playlist for my Zune which would lift my spirits and soothe my soul. After several failed attempts I decided I needed some sort of guidelines to keep me focused. As I was taking both Valium and Darvocet, focus was key. I decided to make a playlist based on my name. Even heavily sedated I can usually remember my name. I will confess I did write it down so I got the letters in the right order. Being dyslexic I am uncertain how much of that was my natural ability to scramble letters and how much was drug induced.

Grab your MP3 player, using songs you have loaded make a play list where the first letter of each song spells your name, for me it goes as follows:

J "Jesus Loves Me" sung by my favorite little Burpeau girls
E "Every Time" sung by Cece Winans
N "Nocturne No. 1" by Chopin, played by Maria João
E "Everything Happens To Me" sung by Nat King Cole

M "MLK" sung by U2
C "Crying For The World" sung by Eden's Bridge
C "Count Your Blessings" sung by Rosemary Clooney
L "Living Inside Your Love" played by Earl Klugh
E "Everything" sung by Michael Bublé
L "Love Divine" sung by Phil Keaggy
L "The Light Inside of You" sung by Ronan Tynan
A "As I Lay Me Down To Sleep" sung by Sophie B. Hawkins
N "Not Too Far From Here" sung by Michael Crawford

Now make time for yourself to sit and listen to the entire playlist. You might be amazed at how it makes you feel. At the very least you have taken some time in the "busyness" of the season for a calm moment for yourself.

Musically yours,

jené

How do you want to spend Christmas this year?

2008-12-14T19:02:00.005-06:00

Worship is not restricted to sanctuaries, it happens wherever we honor God!

Time for something silly

2008-12-07T13:34:00.003-06:00

Found this quiz when I was checking out a blog I love to read The Rebellious Pastor's Wife and it looked like it would be a nice right giggle.

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Doris!

You are a Doris -- "I must help others."

Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

* Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.

* Share fun times with me.

* Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.

* Let me know that I am important and special to you.

* Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

* Reassure me that I am interesting to you.

* Reassure me often that you love me.

* Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Doris

* being able to relate easily to people and to make friends

* knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better

* being generous, caring, and warm

* being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings

* being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Doris

* not being able to say no (Getting better at doing so)

* having low self-esteem ( Not a problem)

* feeling drained from overdoing for others (Life itself is draining these days, choosing to take better care of me and where I invest myself)

* not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish (Selfish can be good!)

* criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should (Not a problem)

* being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tune in to them ( Long term experience with someone who is this way has pretty much alleviated that problem)

* working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings (Tact should always be kind, but never to the point of dishonesty with you soul)

Dorises as Children Often

* are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism

* try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding (To this day I have the feeling my mom always knows if I am in trouble. It's a good thing though!)

* are outwardly compliant

* are popular or try to be popular with other children

* act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention

* are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)

Dorises as Parents

* are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)

* are often playful with their children

* wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"

* can become fiercely protective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

A Candle in the Window

2008-12-04T20:22:00.003-06:00

I still haven't worked out the logistics but I have been trying to get lights strung over the door and around a front window. There are all sorts of legends about lights and celebrating Christmas. The lights represent the Star of Bethlehem guiding the wise men to Jesus. Lights in the window welcome the Holy Family who found no welcome that night. The light reminds us that Christmas is all about the Light of God coming to us in His Son. My favorite story of lights in the window comes from Ireland.

During the Penal Times you were harshly treated if you did not belong to the Church of Ireland which was part of the Anglican Community. Those who were Roman Catholic or one of the Protestant dissenters like the Presbyterians suffered greatly. They could not inherit land, take custody of an orphan, hold public office or firearms, or intermarry. Marriages for Presbyterians were not even acknowledge by the government.

Everyday life for a Roman Catholic meant he could not celebrate mass or practice his faith in the open. It is told that in order for a priest to find a home where he would be welcome, there would be a candle placed in the window. This meant he could seek shelter and the family there would want to celebrate mass with him.

I was thinking of this last night when I found myself awake for a good deal of the time. Do I live my life in such a way that people see a light of welcome in me? I talked it over with the Lord and asked Him to keep me ever mindful of being a reflection of His light.

This morning several friends asked me to pray for and with them. Here it was less than 12 hours since I asked the question that the answer was given. That's not usually the way it works. I chuckled after the last phone call and assured God I got the message. I am a candle in the window for Him.

Glad to spread the Light,

jené

Things

2008-11-28T22:44:00.006-06:00

Knowing I would be spending many hours in the car this week, I decided to spend the time focusing on things to be thankful for.

Family who all changed their plans so that Thanksgiving celebrations would be scheduled when I could be there.
Rejoicing in the things that bring us together rather than focusing on the things that separate us
God's generosity in gifting me with family and friends who know all about me and love me anyway.
An Aunt who got in the car at the last minute to bring my Uncle to join us for a few hours before driving the 90 miles back home.
Nieces and nephews who were willing to spend their time with me.
Many miles traveled safely by several of us
His love which makes every day something to be grateful for.

Thankful for many blessings,

jené

my life is one of those "You had to be there" jokes.

2008-11-20T20:49:00.002-06:00

When I saw this facebook flair I knew it was for me. Anyone who has read this blog over the years should be able to recall many moments which fit this piece. The attack of the glycerin soap, getting stuck in my own car, numerous road altercations, being pulled over by the cops after inputting my plates wrong and the latest occurrence from this afternoon.

When I came home the other night there was only one very tight spot open to park. Unfortunately it had speed bump right in the middle. Evidently when I was maneuvering in position, the speed bump knocked loose one of the coverings under the car. I noticed it yesterday when I went out for my walk. I talked to my favorite car care center and they told me it would be alright for me to just remove the piece. I decided to wait until today to try it as I wasn't moving all that well yesterday.

Toolbox at the ready I made my way out to fix the problem this afternoon. If anyone had been around with a video camera you would know just how funny this was. Imagine a short lady with short arms, a cane and a toolbox laying in the street half under a car. After many convolutions and several different approaches, I realized this was not going as I hoped. I was unable to get the last remaining bolt loose. I took a break and came back into the apartment for some water and a call to my dad. After consulting with him I decided to leave the hardware in place and just cut through the liner. I headed back out again this time armed with utility scissors. I got under the car and began cutting when I heard a little girl yell for her mom. Soon they both came running to look under the car and see what was up. The little girl had told her it looked like someone had a car parked on them. When her mom looked over and could only see my legs and my cane off to the side she came running. I thanked the little one for caring enough about a stranger to get help and told her mother she was doing a good job raising her. They stayed with me while I finished cutting the liner loose and helped me get back out from underneath the car. By this time we were all laughing and joking around. As I walked back across the street I knew I had once again made a new friend in totally bizarre situation. That's when I thought this flair should title this post.

Glad to be a punchline,

jené

Why the WWJD motto doesn't work

2008-11-19T14:04:00.002-06:00

Whether the phrase has you recalling Charles Sheldon's book from the 1890s or the fad of the 1990s, asking yourself "What would Jesus do?" does not work. Jesus could do what He did because of how He lived. If you want to do what Jesus would do, you must first live as He lived. In order to be like Christ, you must do the things He did.

He talked often with His Father, real conversation spent listening to what His Father had to say. He spent time in silence and solitude to ponder His Father's words. He fasted to give Himself the time and focus He needed. He knew that these things would gift Him with what was necessary for Him to achieve God's will for His life. It is the same for us.

My salvation is a gift of God's grace. How I live in that grace is up to me. I can choose to struggle on my own to achieve God's will for my life, or I can make use of the same tools Christ used to equip Himself. I've tried doing it my way, behaving as I thought a Christian ought, knowing all the right things to say, sharing my pale imitation of God's love with others. It wasn't until I realized if I wanted to be like Christ, I would have to live like Christ. As someone who has lived both ways I have to tell you there is nothing better than living the life He modeled.

Life becomes much easier when you realize God will gift you with the things you need to accomplish His plans if you only seek them. You can share God's love fully if you are totally connected to Him. So if you want to ask yourself WWJD, first live as Jesus lived. Ask yourself do you only worship Him, or do you follow Him as well?

Thankful for the role model,

Imitatio Christi,

jené

More hope for Star of Hope

2008-11-10T21:13:00.002-06:00

I am still seeking ideas for increasing the money I have to give to the Star of Hope. Most suggestions are for a bake sale. I think the message there is people admire my baking skills more than my financial skills. I would have to agree with that sentiment.

I have been recruiting people to join a Star of Hope group on facebook. They in turn are recruiting others. I have talked with many friends and have asked them to consider Star of Hope in their giving plans this year. So far a couple have agreed to do so. One said she was really interested in the teaching and counseling going on at the Transitional Living Center.

I am finding this journey more comfortable and am glad I took the first step. Keep praying!

Love,

jené

Moments

2008-11-09T20:21:00.002-06:00

every moment is a choice

how do i react to what has happened

what i choose is the clearest picture of my soul

please Lord let Your love guide me in all i choose

let what i am fade into the love You are

give me the will to always choose You

cause those who see me, to see only You

for all i am is what you give to me

Your love and Your grace

What really matters

2008-11-05T16:49:00.003-06:00

I wish everyone would just get a grip. Regardless of the outcome of an election, God is still in charge. I have heard from so many how this election will forever alter America. I am sure it will. I am not sure it will do everything I have been hearing. President-elect Obama will not be either the best or the worst thing to happen to our country. Hopefully we can work together as citizens to change what needs changing in our country, and hold on to the things which make us a nation much admired.

No matter what happens in this country in which I live, what really matters to me is my place in the Kingdom of God. I am a follower of Christ first, and an American second. The former is immutable, the latter is not. My citizenship in God's Kingdom cannot be taken from me by any principality on earth nor will I ever abandon it. If the need arose I could abandon my citizenship in this country. For the whole of my life many things in my country have been at odds with my beliefs. It has not stopped or swayed my faith thus far and nothing of yesterday has changed that.

Glad to remember what really matters,

jené

Comfort Zones

2008-11-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

We finally got the weather of Fall this week. I love how invigorating and crisp it feels when you head out to start a new day. Unfortunately, as much as my heart is happy to feel the chill, I can't say the same for my joints. I don't move very easily when the cold weather hits. The timing of my slowing down was actually beneficial. One day this week was particularly difficult. I have long worked to find something to be grateful for when days like that come my way. One thing I have learned is that nothing comes between me spending time with God unless I choose it to. Days of limits have no limits on prayer, and I really needed the extra time to pray this week.

I am working on an assignment I took on at church. Last Sunday I volunteered to take $100 to use wisely for the Lord's Kingdom. I have ninety days to complete the project. The guidelines are simple. The money is God's. He has entrusted it to me to grow it and use it for His glory. From the moment I stood up to leave the pew to volunteer I began praying. I knew this would take me well outside my comfort zone. I had in fact struggled for quite a bit trying to reason with God why I should just stay seated where I was and let someone else go forward. I do poor well. You would be amazed with what I can do with seven dollars for a week's groceries. I don't grow money well. I have an allotment from my paycheck taken each payday for my retirement. It means less money to live on now, but more money to live on later. Obviously, if I could make money well, my financial life would have a little breathing room. So why in the world would I volunteer for something I am so woefully unskilled for?

Simple, God is going with me on this adventure. If I have learned nothing else in the last few years I have learned that wherever I journey, God goes with me. So my first step in this assignment was to spend some time with my best friend and a few prayer partners on Sunday. They agreed to pray for me for the next 90 days and to give freely of their own time and talents to secure ways to help.

When we first met to pray, I was asked if I felt any leading as to where I was going to invest the final sum I had. I have to confess there were several ideas running through my head then. I spend time with the Salvation Army, Star of Hope, and the BEAResource room. After a week spent in prayer, I have felt led to choose Star of Hope for this adventure.

Now the objective is in sight, I need a plan to get there. As I am always quoting Antoine de Saint-Exupery to my favorite little girls each time we set goals for our time together. "A goal without a plan is just a wish"

Please pray I will remember that God is my comfort zone and He goes with me,

jené

P.S. Any and all ideas are most welcome. Feel totally free to email me your suggestions.

Good citizenship, reluctantly

2008-10-24T16:06:00.002-05:00

After I failed to make it to the polls on Wednesday, I decided to make sure I made it today. I was still uncertain just whom I was going to vote for in several key elections. I woke up fairly early and decided to use a gift certificate I got last year to go see the " The Secret Life of Bees." I had thoroughly enjoyed the book and was looking forward to the movie. Unfortunately my gift card was a dud. I got one from work last year and one from a sweet friend. I hope it was the one from work, while I hate for anyone to suffer a loss, my friend can't afford to waste money. At least one had been alright and I used it earlier this year to see Prince Caspian.

I got ready to leave to vote and doubled back to grab my Zune as I was certain I would be in a line waiting for at least a little bit of time. I almost picked it up when I heard the Spirit whisper "leave it behind." I hesitated a moment and then left it where it was. I got in the car and took a moment to pray for God to use my time waiting for His glory. I started the car and headed off to the polls no surer about my vote than I had been when I woke up.

When I entered the building the line was doubled back on itself and almost back to the front door. I walked up and stood behind a man busy on his cell phone. For a long time I was at the end of the line by myself with phone man. About 10 minutes later a couple walked in. Seeing I had a cane, they told me if I wanted to sit down they would save me a place in line while I sat. I thanked them for the offer but assured both that I was used to standing for long periods of time as my job has me on my feet all day long. Seeing the man in front of me was still on the phone the lady behind said me now would be a good time for her husband to catch up on his messages. While he was doing so she and I chatted about everything from getting her sons absentee ballots while they are at Clemson to places we have lived.

Halfway through the line a sweet older lady stepped into the waiting area to remind everyone they are forbidden to use their cell phones this close to a polling place and asked everyone to put them away. We continued to talk and she joked she should have brought a book she has been wanting to read but just hasn't started. I replied I had almost brought my Zune to keep me company but at the last minute felt God ask me to leave it behind because He had someone for me to talk to while I waited. She asked me if I had found anyone yet and I told her I was unaware if I had. I explained that for me it was more important to be obedient to where I felt the Lord was leading, than to see a visible result. I told her I had more than once been reminded God calls me to obedience and I should trust the results to Him. I told her this election was a good example. I shared with her that even though I was in line to vote, I was still uncertain as to whom I would be voting for in many of elections. At that time we had to part ways as it was our turn to vote.

I cast my ballot and headed back to my car. I still do not know if this woman was the one who needed a word from the Lord, but trust she at least knows there are people to whom their faith is a guiding force in their life.

Glad I live in a nation with peaceful elections,
overjoyed to serve a Sovereign God,

-jené

today

2008-10-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

Today started off rather early. I had taken some vicodin to help ease the pain of yesterday. I keep it for extreme times and only use it once or twice a month. I have a long life left ahead of me and do not want to become to dependent on chemical solutions for pain. At any rate, after taking the medicine I headed to bed to pray and meditate before I drifted off to sleep. Sleep was slow to happen and I found myself still awake close to midnight. Imagine my surprise when after finally falling asleep I was awake at 5:00 am. I lay there for a bit working up the energy to get up and get started on the day.

After taking care of necessary morning tasks I settled back in bed for my time with the Lord. I was asking Him what He would have me do today and I just had to confess I didn't feel up to doing anything at all. My appointment for the morning had been cancelled and I had nowhere to be. I decided to catch a little more sleep before facing the day properly. I remember joking with Jesus if He wanted me to love someone for Him today, He should just send them to me as I wasn't sure I would make it out of the apartment. And so He did!

Jesus' answer came in the late morning. There is a sweet older man who lives at the other end of my apartment building. I had taken him some brownies last week and he wanted to return my container and had brought me muffins. Right after I moved in we became acquainted. He asked me once why I always headed out on Sundays since he noticed I don't work on that day. I told him I made it to church if it was at all possible for me to do so. He stated he had not had many favorable experiences with Christians since he had come out years ago. I asked him to give me a chance to see if it was possible for someone who loved God to love him as well. Since that time we have become great friends. I stopped in to see him before Ike to make sure he had everything he needed. After the storm he came to see me to make sure I was o.k. He knew I had given most of my pantry to a neighbor with no food so he brought me food from his. The last two weeks he has waited for me to come home from church and asks me about the service. I thank God daily that he has allowed me to share His love with Paul. It is a great blessing.

So it worked out that even though I never got out of my jammies today, I was able to share Christ's love with a neighbor. There is a wonderful freedom that comes from placing control of your life into the hands of a loving God. I can do what He asks because He gifts me with the means to do it.

Thankful I could serve from home today!

-jené

Not optional, imperative

2008-10-17T20:41:00.003-05:00

I am currently re-reading one of my favorite books by Jan Johnson, When The Soul Listens. I chose it to help fill my open Saturday earlier this month. It's been a great refresher and very helpful as someone I know has asked for my help in opening her prayer life up to real conversation instead of a checklist for God. She wanted to know why so few Christians seek contemplation. Borrowing liberally from Oswald Chambers I told her I thought it was because they were unwilling to hear God speak to them personally.

"We show how little we love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? Perhaps it's because we know that when God speaks we know we only have two choices: Either we will do what He asks, or tell Him we will not obey. But if it is simply one of God's servants speaking to us, we feel obedience is optional, not imperative."

Oswald Chambers.
My Utmost For His Highest

You see when you learn to listen to God in the stillness of prayer you will find yourself hearing Him all day long. It is one thing to hear God whisper "Love your neighbor" when you are comfortable at home. It is quite another to be worn out at work and see a colleague needing help and hear Him repeat "Love your neighbor." At that point you have only the two options Chambers listed. Many find it easier to pretend they cannot hear God to avoid the obedience it requires.

So the question I asked my friend is: Are you ready for the life change that comes from listening to God call your name? To make sure she knew the full impact I also shared with her the joy that conversation with God brings.

There is no way to accurately share with you the exultation and comfort in hearing God speak to you alone. Imagine you find yourself sitting face to face with the love of your life. Would you do all the talking or would you want to hear Him say how much He loves you and needs your help in accomplishing His goals? You see listening to God isn't only getting guidance, it's about affirmation and adoration, one for the other. It's someone who loves you enough to say "I hear
you telling me how you feel, I love you and want to share this time with you." Obedience becomes less of a chore and more of an outpouring of thanksgiving for God's grace.

I think everyone who lives this way is as inadequate as I am in explaining just how jubilant and blissful life can be staying always in God's shadow. Life does not become one long musical filled with praise songs, it does becomes something you know you will find your way through with your best friend as your constant companion. I am trusting God to help me as I help my friend find this delight for herself.

Praying you too delight yourself in the Lord,

jené

Dewey defeats Truman, Nixon triumphs over Kennedy!

2008-10-14T20:09:00.006-05:00

For the last forty years children participating in the Scholastic Book Presidential Election Poll have accurately picked the winner, mostly. The two races in the title are the exception. Today the results from this year's poll were released. In their election Barack Obama won. We won't know until November 4th if this one is what will be now or what could have been.

Imagine how America would have been different if Dewey had won. By 1948 he had left his isolationist leanings to see the inclusiveness of a global mindset. In spite of running an insipid campaign full of lame statements like "You future lies ahead of you" he did make a rather profound statement with regards to the "red hunting" and "communist bashing" many in the Republican Party were promoting. He argued over outlawing the Communist Party of America by stating "you can't shoot an idea with a gun." Think about how different the fifties would have been if there had been a Republican president in the White House when Joseph McCarthy began his reign of terror. It is doubtful that even McCarthy would have gone against his Party's President. Yes I know Ike was President from 1953 to 1961, but McCarthy started his hunting in 1950 under President Truman.

Now jump forward a decade and imagine Nixon was in the hot seat when Russia showed it's hand in Cuba. Could the cold war been much colder? From a domestic point of view, what would have happened to the Civil Rights movement? If Nixon had been in the White House in 1963 how would the march on Washington have played out? Granted LBJ oversaw signing most of the Civil Rights act into being but if he hadn't gone to D.C. with Kennedy we can only wonder the changes that may have happened.

All of this proves why it is easier to be an historian than an adviser.

At least we won't have to wait too long to see if the kids are right on this one.

Waiting to vote,

jené

The Dark Night

2008-10-13T21:21:00.006-05:00

One dark night,
fired with love's urgent longings
- ah, the sheer grace! -
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.

In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
- ah, the sheer grace! -
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.

On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.

This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
- him I knew so well -
there in a place where no one appeared.

O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

St. John of the Cross

Many times I have found comfort in these words and today they were a balm for my soul. May they bring you comfort as well.

Seeking to forget myself in my Beloved,

jené

Stuck in my heart

2008-10-10T01:13:00.004-05:00

for KW

I am thinking of you my friend.
I have whispered for you in my heart.
I repeated your name in my prayers,
and laid you upon God's altar.
I asked Him to gather you into His arms,
to cover your life with His blessings,
to reveal His love for you to your heart.
I ache when your life is troubled.
I long to sing when your life fills with joy.
You can never go outside of my love,
come home in peace and know you are welcome!

Always,

jené

Jesus must be proud too!

2008-10-07T21:26:00.005-05:00

Tonight I went down the street to watch a sweet little girl play soccer. What I saw instead was the best display of honor and courage I have seen in quite a long time.

Sara has been playing soccer for a few years now and really enjoys it. Tonight taunts from former teammates and unkind comments from parents on the other team had her leaving the field at halftime in tears. She ran to her dad and he hugged her close as she told him she never wanted to play soccer again. He spoke quietly to her about supporting her team and seeing things through till they are finished. You could tell she really did not want to go back out on the field, but she did. When the game started she gave it her all. She got out there in the thick of things and made some great plays.

She sat out the last quarter and I sat with her. She and I talked about how we can only be responsible for our behavior, not others'. On Friday night I had stayed with the girls and we had worked to find a way to help each other be kind. Borrowing from one of my Dad's sermons we each packed an imaginary bucket. We loaded our buckets with love, kindness, compassion and generosity. (Ever practical Meredith suggested we add bottles of water, clean shoes and donuts.) We set out on an expedition. When the going got rough we tried to keep our buckets upright. When we dropped or tipped over our buckets we looked to see what had spilled from them. Only the things we had placed there in the first place could come out. Remembering that night Sara said she was pretty sure there were some not so nice things in her bucket right then. I told her we could choose now to repack her bucket for the rest of the night. We decided to share funny stories and cheer her teammates on.

When the game ended and it was time to greet the other team she did not want to return to the field. A little urging from her mom and she went on out. As we were walking back to our cars I told Sara I had never been prouder of her than I was at that moment. I told her I was proud she did something she did not want to do just because it was the right thing to do.

So tonight as I remember her turning her tear-filled eyes my way and struggling to smile, I am humbled to have been so close to so much courage.

I love you Sara and am so proud of you, I know Jesus is proud too!

-jené

4:00 am

2008-10-05T23:23:00.000-05:00

This is the time which defines your friendships. You will find all of your friends fall into one of two categories. Those you can call at 4 in the morning, and those you can't. Those in the can't category are friends, but they are not the ones you would reach out to for love and support.

I have a friend who quite often calls me in the wee hours of the morning. It's not that his life is one crisis after another, it's his continuing inability to compute time differences from his locations around the globe. What is so great about Joe is his total surrender to doing God's will. Most of the times he has called me during the night, I have been awake and am comforted by hearing from someone who loves me. God is watching out for both of us. Joe needs someone to share with and I get to talk to a friend in the night without having to worry about waking him up.

The next time you find yourself pondering just how many friends you have, make a list of 4 o'clock friends. The knowledge there are people you can call gives such a feeling of joy.

Glad to have and to be a 4 o'clock friend,

jené

Kingdom of Heaven

2008-10-02T22:33:00.003-05:00

I was asked to write about the Kingdom of Heaven for next years Lenten devotional. It's due tomorrow. I have written, re-written and tossed out much. How do you explain the Kingdom of Heaven? It is hard to describe in concrete terms.

I think the best way is to share how I came to realize it was something for my present and not the distant future. The first time I got a good look at the Kingdom was in an airport in California. My dad had retired from the Air Force and we had moved to Okinawa Japan as missionaries for the Navigators.

We had come home for the summer and were trying to return. We were using the military space available program. With daddy being retired and needing six seats we were on the bottom of the list. I was praying throughout the days and often said the Lord’s Prayer. While I was praying for God’s will to be done on earth I really wasn't doing anything to make it happen. Living 21 days in an airport teaches you much about yourself.

I decided that much like I was an American in Japan, I was also a human in God's Kingdom. Just as I had to apply for a visa to stay in Japan, Christ's sacrifice was my visa for the Kingdom. When we first moved I had experiences outside my comfort zone. I got to share with others about my homeland. I began to learn Japanese. I found many similarities living in the Kingdom. God frequently takes me out of my comfort zone. I get to share with others what it is like in His Kingdom. I learned that the language in His Kingdom is love.

There are also differences. If you think learning Japanese is hard, try talking to everyone all day long in love. The good news is that while I had no extraordinary help for Japanese, I have a great tutor in speaking love. All I have to do is to ask the Holy Spirit to give me the love to share and it is there. There are many rules for an alien living in Japan. In the Kingdom there are only two rules.

1. Love the Lord with all you have
2. Love your neighbor as your self.

As I have grown older and a little bit wiser I realize that unlike being held within the borders of a country, I take the Kingdom of Heaven with me everywhere I go.

Praying that what others see in me makes them want to claim their citizenship here,

jené

I didn't trip, that was a gravity surge.

2008-10-01T10:25:00.002-05:00

A great flair piece. It makes so much sense.

My body is not failing, gravity is not constant.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Not in denial just tongue in cheek,

jené

Early mornings

2008-09-30T04:33:00.003-05:00

The bad thing about being up at this time is it is too late to take anything of a medicinal nature as it might impede waking with the alarm.

The good thing about being up at this time is it is easier to focus on what is important in your life. The last few years I have found the early morning hours to be great for spending time with the Lord. Four thirty in the morning finds very little else to do. So once again I pull out my prayer journal wondering what God is going to teach me this morning.

I can add thanks for restored power for my favorite family here in Houston. Seventeen days without power with three young girls makes for many adventures. They have weathered well and had some good times along the way. I know I certainly enjoyed having them spend the night here.

I was checking in on a few other friends last night when I heard a rather unusual story. A pastor and his wife were both out of town in two different cities for conferences when Ike hit. They did not make it home until Monday after the storm. They had heard from neighbors all about the destruction on their block. Not sure of what they would find at their own home, they prayed that God would use whatever happened to them for His glory. When they pulled up to the house they were relieved to see everything looked pretty much intact. A few trees toppled and the roof looked a little funky, but no major damage. As they walked around the house and opened the gate to check out the back of the house they got a huge surprise. Their entire back yard was covered in oranges and grapefruits. Shay told me it was completely filled and you could see no grass. In checking all around them they could find no one with fruit trees and no way to explain where it had all come from. By that point many in their neighborhood were running low on food supplies so the pastor had everyone over. They gathered in his back yard and thanked God for supplying the bountiful harvest. My friend quipped that this must be some kind of modern day manna. They still haven't figured out how they came to have a yard full of citrus and are content with the answer that God provides. I think this will become one of my favorite storm stories.

As I work my way down my prayer list I feel the love I have for everyone on it. I feel so blessed to have so many people in my life I can pray for. As is always the case, prayer is more about changing me than anything else. I awakened in pain and feeling resentful for it's waking me. Now I am feeling loved and lucky for having so many people in my life I care about.

Thankful for a God who can change my heart and resting in His love,

jené

Wear your own face

2008-09-28T17:21:00.005-05:00

Oh how God loves to weave together disparate moments in my life to bring a single lesson to my soul. Today was no exception. Get comfy and I will share how all of these seemingly unrelated events come together so well.

One day at work this week I was having a particularly rough day. I knew it was going to be so when I fell twice in the shower while getting ready for work. I took some time after the shower to ask God to give me the joy I should feel for the day He had given me. Often I am on my knees asking God to gift me a spirit of rejoicing I just cannot muster on my own. A friend asked me how I was doing. Knowing he cares to hear the truth and not forced "fine" I told him it was a difficult day but that we both would get through it well. He then said " It may be difficult but you are still smiling." I told him that my smile was truly a gift from God as I could not find it in myself that morning. I said the good thing about belonging to God was that He did not expect me to be what I wasn't but was willing to gift me what I needed to be what He wanted.

Later in the week I found myself with another trying day. I have been experiencing random muscle spasms and twitching of late and it was fairly pronounced on Thursday. I was frustrated by how it was affecting my work and concerned about what it might mean to the ongoing changes that make up my altering state of health. I took a few moments to have a sit down in the break room to center my heart. At that point late in the day I was all out of a joyful spirit and asked God to help me to remember His love for me no matter what comes my way.

A dear friend inquired about what was going on. I shared my frustration with her amidst some gentle tears and deep sighs. She and I know that we cannot control what comes our way but we can choose how we are going to respond. She also has had some difficult moments in her life where we have prayed together for us to remember to seek God's bottomless reservoir of grace to gift us what we lack. The great thing is we do not feel the need to pretend to each other that we are anything but what we are. We are flawed women seeking to live for God's glory and encourage each other along the way. Praying together is the best time two friends can share. You cannot help but be your true self at God's altar. Having a friend who knows exactly who you are and is your friend in spite of it is a priceless gift.

We sat together for a long time and she listened so lovingly as I poured out all the opportunities for praise I was still feeling disquieted about. Many years ago we decided to refer to difficulties as opportunities for praise. We hoped that by recognizing a positive change can come negative situation it would help us to remember that God uses our entire lives to draw us closer to Him.

I shared with her the lingering sense of failure I felt after the Hurricane. While I am so grateful to have been able to open my tiny apartment to so many people there is one thing from the past two weeks that still causes me to feel like I have failed. There is someone close to me who has known me for years. After seeing my life from a close perspective she still does not recognize that my helping others after the storm was not an extraordinary thing but something that every believer is called to do. I feel as if I have failed to show her how God expects us to loves others. With so many years invested in this relationship I wonder if I have even made a difference in her life. I know in my head that God calls me to obedience and I should leave the results for Him. My heart is having a difficult time with this lesson. I asked my prayer partner to pray I would let go of this feeling of failure and remember to trust God's plan for everything in my life.

Knowing me as she does she asked if there was anything else I had not yet surrendered to the Lord. I confessed I was also feeling disappointed about having to miss a conference I really wanted to attend this coming weekend. Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church is hosting a Renovaré conference titled "Life with God: Celebrating Lifelong Discipleship". I have read and received much from the presenters who are coming.

When I got the email telling me of the upcoming event I pulled out the calendar to see how I could work it in. I work part-time in retail and have to request time off at least a month in advance. In order to take a weekend day off I have to find someone with my skill level to cover my shift. As a part timer I do get some vacation time but I have already allocated those days off to go home for a few days before Thanksgiving. To attend this conference I would lose two days of pay and have to come up with the registration fee as well. After praying about attending I felt comfortable making the commitment to it.

As is readily apparent much has changed in the six weeks since I made the decision to attend. Ike came to Houston. What was going to be a stretch for my normal budget is now impossible. While several people have stepped forward to help, everything I have is going toward paying the bills and hopefully to restock both the pantry and the medicine cabinet. I told her I felt so shallow to be whining about missing an extracurricular activity when so many are without homes. Things are tight but there is a roof over my head. God has really blessed me and I am grateful for it and the opportunity to share it with my neighbors these past two weeks. I have asked God to use Friday and Saturday as special days for Him. After all, I have the time off I should do something good with it!

Here's where it all comes together to be woven into a needed life lesson.

I have been in Second Corinthians for my quiet time this week. I know you have already read much but I want to share with you a few verses from the Fourth chapter.

Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don't twist God's Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.

Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best!

Verses 1-2, and 5-12 from The Message

As God has so often done He led me to church today to hear His Words. Once again God had Doug reaffirm the lessons He has been teaching me. His sermon today was all about letting go of the masks we might hide behind to be our true selves. Coincidences are to be cherished. A few years ago Mike Fry got me to read When God Winks. It taught me God used what I thought were coincidences were actually times He was winking at me. I remember how loved I used to feel when my Grumpdaddy used to wink at me. He would catch my eye from across the room or dinner table and wink. To this day I associate a wink with unconditional love.

So everything of late has worked together to convince me I am at my best when I come to God at my worst and let Him work in me. After all, if I wear a mask I won't be able to see God winking at me.

Glad to be winked at,

jené

P.S. My Grumpdaddy was my mother's father. My attempts at Granddaddy failed and all of my little sisters were stuck with the name I had given him. When I was a little girl and he used to hold me I thought that it was what it must be like to be hugged by God. That's why his winks always made me feel so loved.

Where it all begins

2008-09-27T23:18:00.003-05:00

The Roots of Violence:

Wealth without work,

Pleasure without conscience,

Knowledge without character,

Commerce without morality,

Science without humanity,

Worship without sacrifice,

Politics without principles.

Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi

Such a blessing

2008-09-23T21:46:00.002-05:00

Today was another day to pull together and help everyone who came in to the store. In the midst of the daily update of who has power and how many more times can you come to work before you run out of clothes, God sent such a blessing. While I knew that both Cindy and Sam had weathered the storm it was a heart warming treat to see them in person. Knowing your friends are o.k. is good, wrapping them in your arms is the best ever!

I knew that Sam had been through a trying time as his job kept him in Galveston to ride out the storm on the island. He is such a kindhearted and gentle man. It was hard to hear that he had been in harm's way. So when I saw him in the store it was with much joy that I hugged him so hard had he been a teddy bear he would have no stuffing left!

Seeing them both made today such a blessing that I don't regret all the time spent stuck in traffic on the way to and from work. Hugging friends makes anything a joy!

Happy for friends who are safe,

jené

Living Poetry

2008-09-19T18:56:00.008-05:00

Christ Has No Body
By St. Teresa of Avila

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
No hands but yours,
No feet but yours,
Yours are the eyes through which is to look out Christ’s compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good;
Yours are the hands with which He is to bless men now.

This week in Houston there has been ample opportunity for everyone to live this poem. It has been a real treat to catch up with friends after the storm and hear all the great stories of love being shown all over the city. One friend rounded up others to help pull up carpet. Another gathered all the thawing food in the neighborhood and cooked up a meal for an impromptu block party. More than once I have heard of someone checking on an elderly neighbor and then either staying with them or taking them into their home. I am not the only one with neighbors streaming in and out to shower, use the computer or charge phones. I have three friends who have done the same. One of my friends took me out to lunch; knowing I have been feeding others she bought extra food for me to bring home to share. Her husband has been standing in lines to get food, water and ice for his neighbors. Over and over you hear stories of people stepping up to do whatever they can to help someone in need. I think when all is said and done this week will go down in history as one of Houston's finest moments.

So blessed to be part of the blessing,

jené

Terrible Storm or Friend Maker....you choose.

2008-09-15T21:10:00.006-05:00

So many things have happened in the past five days. I will take away a multitude of cherished moments from the event known as Hurricane Ike.

While we could many of us kept in touch through Facebook and Twitter. This confirmed in a real way what a vital role social networking sites can provide. We encouraged one another. It lessened for many the isolation a storm like Ike can bring. It was fun to see how friends all over town were weathering the storm. A misery shared is a misery lessened.

After the initial storm had passed it was such a joy to be out of the apartment. My heart was so happy to see so many of the neighbors come together to clean up the storm damage. One of my neighbors is a sweet lady who had just gotten home from the hospital last week. Even though she herself had a middle of the night ambulance ride just a few days prior, she waded through ankle deep water to check on an older neighbor. Her girls joined the group of us cleaning up debris. We ranged in age from the sixties to young children. Everybody pitched in!

As I was walking the rest of the property in the afternoon it was great to see how everyone was sharing their resources. People shared water and food. Generators were in courtyards with plugs leading to several apartments. I was helping a neighbor pry open her gate so she could get back in to check her home when several young men came by and gave us a hand. Perhaps the best thing the power outage brought was forcing everyone out to sit on their porches and patios. We got to know each other better and it can't help but to make people feel more friendly toward each other.

As I got to spend more time with neighbors today I began to feel a deep sorrow for the people who chose to stay in their apartments. God gifted all of us with an opportunity to love our neighbors in a tangible way. They threw away His gift by insulating themselves from the life taking place in the courtyards all over the property. For them the past week will always be primarily remembered as how they survived the storm. How sad that they could not see the gift they were given.

Like anything in life, we have no real control in what comes our way. Our control is in how we respond to it.

Thankful for so many new friends,

jené

Why am I here?

2008-09-10T09:40:00.005-05:00

I kept waking up all night to sneeze or cough. After I had worked my way through my prayer journal and sneaked a peak at this morning's devotional I decided to blog. Fortunately even in my fevered state I recognized most of what I intended to post was just a collection of odd and disjointed thoughts. Thank heavens for the delete key!

Instead I am going to share with you something I read yesterday which has confirmed a life decision made recently. I spent some time this spring re-evaluating where I have invested myself. I seriously considered moving back to West Texas. I have family there and with my physical limitations increasing I considered how much easier life would be with help at the ready. That is not to imply that help is not available here, it's just easier when it's family.

One thing that has always had me reluctant to return to the area is the leaving of my church here. I love my church because I feel they understand the burden I feel upon me to share God's love with everyone I meet. There are some good churches in West Texas but I just don't feel as much ease there as I do here. I did get a glimmer of a common goal when I went to a Christmas Eve service with my parents. They had installed a new pastor and he seemed to feel the same need I feel to inspire the people in the pews to action. Their youth group was raising money for a trip by selling t-shirts with this message. On the front it said "Frozen Chosen" and on the back it said "Thaw Out." This gave me hope for any future move to San Angelo.

I have lived in Houston for 18 years now and feel totally at home here. More importantly I have invested myself in friendships with many from differing faith walks. I have Buddhist, Islamic, Shinto, Jewish and atheistic friends who count me as their Christian friend. In some cases I am their only Christian friend. God has really blessed my life by giving me the opportunity to love these people the way my Christ loves them. In my current neighborhood more that half of my neighbors do not go to church. I have a fantastic opportunity to share His love right outside my doorstep. Yes, you can share your love on the front stoop. Just wait until the cool part of the day.

So the question I was pondering earlier this year became "Why should I move?" instead of "Should I move?" Yesterday's Wizard of ID strip brought home the need to share the Kingdom of Heaven wherever you are.

Staying here,

jené

How I learned chicken broth makes a great moisturizer

2008-09-08T21:54:00.004-05:00

To understand my discovery we need to review a little background info. My weather predicting arthritic joints have been spot on in alerting me to the pressure changes this coastal city has had in the past few weeks. While somewhat useful, it means slower going and taking more care.

When I woke on Sunday I discovered the little tickle in my throat and occasional sneeze of the night before had blossomed into a right nice cold. I found myself seven minutes late to church. As is often the story, the parking lot was full with the only places open in the far ends. I debated staying or going and staying won out. As I was getting out of the car I had a moment of dizziness which caused me to smack my head on the car door. I sat back down to wait out the dizziness and ease the throbbing in my brain. By the time things were on a more even keel it was 11:30. I am totally comfortable with being a little late and making my way down front where you can always find a seat. Even I however gave pause at being a half hour late. I decided I would catch the sermon on-line later and took my Bible and Zune to head to a park. It was a beautiful day and very easy to see the wonder of God's creation all around me. God is marvelous and used the silences between sneezes to give me peace and comfort. I headed home feeling my soul at ease.

I made a big pot of chicken soup to ward off all the nasty little viruses trying to have a party in my body. I make a great Cold Killer Chicken Soup. As a consistent life pro-lifer I make an exception for organisms attacking me. I had already eaten a bowlful of this wonderful elixir and reasoned another half serving would be a good medicinal dose. I was picking up the pot when I lost my grip and it all went falling to the floor. My relief at seeing the pot land right-side up was quickly replaced with surprise as the soup came flying out and hit me full in the face.

Those of you who know me will not find the next part of the story at all unusual. I fell to the floor with the most serious case of the giggles you have ever heard. Honestly, I know my soup is good for a body but have never applied it externally before. The kitchen and I both needed some good scrubbing.

When I woke up this morning I discovered a benefit to the small fiasco that was yesterday. My skin is so soft today. I may have to investigate the moisturizing qualities of chicken soup.

Wonderingly,

jené

Dr. Suess life lessons

2008-09-03T21:08:00.006-05:00

I have a favorite quote on my flair board and it is attributed to Dr. Suess. I have found however there is some debate as to it's authorship. It is still a good life lesson so I have included it in my favorite Suessicals

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

It is sometimes a hard to be totally honest with how you feel. There will always be others who think what you feel is wrong. I know personally how hard it can be to open yourself up especially with those closest to you. Just this week I was chatting with one of my sisters about a candidate. She was sharing with me how proud she was to see a pro-life women running for office. I thought for a moment just to let the comment pass without note but I would not be true to my ideals if I did not mention that I had yet to ascertain the candidate's views on the death penalty. As a consistent life pro-lifer, this is important to me. I did not press the issue but could not in good conscience let it go unsaid. My sisters and I often disagree about many things. That aside, I know their love for me can withstand them occasionally doubting my sanity.

Sometimes the questions are complicated but the answers are simple.

I have also learned that many of the problems that have found me in my life can be answered by simply trusting God has a plan for me.

The more that you read, the more things you know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

We have a saying at work that intuition does not come to an unprepared mind. Over the years I have spent much time reading many things. I am as eclectic in my reading as I am in my music. I can honestly tell you I would be hard pressed to pick just one book which has most affected my life. This of course excludes the Bible. No matter how many times I have read a particular passage I seem to find something new in each reading.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It is not.

Simply knowing that the world has many problems and talking about them is not enough. To care connotes taking action. Another flair I have states "One person can ~~only~~ do so much." Never let the fact that you can't do everything stop you from doing anything. One action can beget another action and so on and so on. Make that first action happen.

Having learned many things from Dr Suess I leave you with this thought.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.

Taking my shoes in many directions,

jené

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass It's about learning to dance in the rain.

2008-08-21T21:05:00.000-05:00

Another abnormally long title taken from my flair board.

Dancing in the rain is fun, you let go of your troubles to sway, splish and splash. The hard part comes in seeing the rain as a blessing instead of a curse. Whenever things get a difficult I try to remember to think of lessons learned in physics.

Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in
that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.
Newton's First Law of Motion

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
Newton's Third Law of Motion

You are probably wondering why both of these laws cause me to think of dancing in the rain. I am using these laws outside the realm of physics and have taken them to a spiritual plane.

When life is hard and things are difficult I have two choices. I can choose to allow the difficulties to provide the direction for my life or I can apply an external force to change the direction. In my case I choose to accept the hardships for the blessings they will someday bring. I use prayer as the external force alter my path from difficult to delightful. When I make that pendulum swing I then note that Newton's third law holds true. For every physical setback I am grateful to receive a spiritual blessing.

Not quite the way Sir Isaac meant for his laws to be applied, but I find them handy.

Who knew physics class would one day lead to dancing in the rain?

Swaying in the raindrops,

jené

Hiding away never works for God sees everything!

2008-08-18T22:08:00.006-05:00

I have had the privilege of having made many mistakes in my life. While that may seem an odd thing to consider a privilege you need to know why it is so.

When you have made major screw ups you know that failure is not fatal.
You learn nothing is so bad that God cannot forgive you.
You know which of your family and friends are compassionate souls.
You also learn that trying to keep everything hidden away until you can resolve it never works. This you learn after the first mistake if you are wise enough to realize it.
You learn that pride is a real stumbling block to repentance. If you could fix it yourself, you wouldn't need forgiveness.
You learn to care less for what others think of you.
You learn to care more for what God thinks of you.

Katie's sermon this Sunday dealt with David and Bathsheba. There was a screw up of monumental proportions. David resorted to murder to hide his sin. David who had been such a strong example of God's man fell as low as you could go. (BTW there is no scorecard awarding points for different sins, we have all been as low as you can go.) In Psalm 51 David writes one of the most heartfelt verses which has meant more to me than there are words to share.

Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.
Psalm 51: 16-17
The Message

I can remember one occasion where I let shame and embarrassment keep me from reaching out for love and support. It took me a while to realize that what I believed was shame and embarrassment was actually pride. I was afraid to let go of my pride and let someone see me in my fallen state. I had a misguided belief that if my friends knew the real me they would be so disgusted they would leave me. I could not find any peace no matter how much I prayed for relief. It was only after I went and confessed my sin and the pride I was hanging onto to try to hide it away that peace came.

Whatever may be keeping you from God's presence is not worth it. If your friends can't love you the way you are, they aren't friends. Do whatever is required to find peace for yourself. It is worth anything.

love,

jené

Soul aid

2008-08-14T20:10:00.006-05:00

The past few months have been full of things which have caused my heart to ache. So when a niece asked if she could come for a visit I was glad to see her arrive. My favorite little girls came for one night of her stay. It is always a heart healer for me to spend time with children. They are so genuine.

Julia and Meredith are missing their big sister this week. She is off at camp. So last night when they came over we decided it would be "Camp Nené." They have both called me Nené for all of their lives. "J" sounds are hard for little mouths and this just worked out easier for them in the beginning. Truthfully, they probably didn't think of calling me anything else as they just copied what their older sister had done.

Last night we did silly dances, watched Donald Duck, ate pizza and made cinnamon rolls for in the morning. The girls love doing a massage train so that was our last activity before bed. We all sit in a row and massage the back of the person in front of you. You switch places from time to time and then everyone ends up with a good massage. While we were doing the train we also had our "thankful time" and "what am I going to do this week to make the world a better place" time. Each of the girls was thankful their sister got to go to camp even though they were missing her. Their choices to make the world a better place included picking up litter, being nice to people, listening to mommy and daddy and putting away toys.

After we had finished we all gathered on my niece's airbed to say our goodnight prayers. The girls love to lay down and stretch out with all of us joining hands in the center to form a cross. I love praying with little ones. They just open up and pour out whatever is troubling them, what they are grateful for, and what they want. I love that these girls know that they can pray together and feel comfortable doing so. I pray they continue this even as adults. I too am so grateful for the chance to refresh my soul by spending time with little ones who love me. I am truly blessed.

Tired but thankful,

jené

P.S. You'd be tired too if you had two little whirling dervishes in your bed.